Who will tell your story?

Each journey in our lives has a beginning, middle and end, it’s who tells yours that’s important.

We drive ourselves for education, for a great job, for a great home, car, belongings.  Most of us have children, if not then we have someone we care so much about they become part of us.  

We work for the promotion, the title the higher life.  At the end of our lives regardless of when that comes, will those cars, homes, items remember us?  Will these tell our stories?  Highly unlikely.  

My opinion is that my boys will be the ones to pass on my life, my stories.  However they wish, is up to them.  I’ll be lucky one day to have grandchildren and great grandchildren.  As lucky as my grandparents.  If I was offered time back i’d have to think about this as each moment in my life, it’s been placed somewhere of value.  With someone, not something.  That’s why I will say over and over again that my boys, my family are the biggest investment i’ve made to date.  

This all came from a conversation with someone close to me.  She told me that she felt her life was given away to others and never did anything for herself.  I reminded her that she did so much, it wasn’t tossed away.  She has the best life i’ve seen.  Giving back to so many, in the end her happiness was filled and she didn’t even see it until now.  Her story will be told for years after she leaves us, for generations to re-tell as if it’s an impossible story.  

Be free to let those close to you, those who care enough that you love them as well.  

I will continue to do so until my last breath.  Let this be yours.  

Laughter

Okay, I am not a ‘girly girl’.  Mum wasn’t one to put bows in my hair nor did I think painted nails look attractive.  This all at the age of 10.  I was a tom boy and I was okay with it.  Fast forward to 2014 and I am working in a profession where I think it is necessary to wear more than simple black slacks and a white dress shirt.  So I do my best to put a dress on, boots or shoes to match and a set of pearls.  It’s what you don’t see that’s funny. 

Behind my desk are large windows which I am quite certain if the blinds are up everyone can see what I do.  

I slouch.  I sit back and let things just ‘be’.  Most times, those damn heals get kicked off and if I could, so would the stockings.  They restrict the growth of hair on my legs.  In fact, the shoes make my feet smell.  This damn dress?  Pffttt... It makes me have to watch how I walk!  Then it’s the hair... if I could, I would put it in a pony tail daily.  Not spend all this time, trying to make it look neat and tidy.  

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy looking ‘professional’ but I LOVE relaxing and being who I am.  An occasional cuss, the faces I make when hearing a funny story, my snorting while laughing and yes a comfortable pair of jeans.

So, while I find it acceptable to wear those dresses i’ve been slowly collecting attempting to be a bit more professional my little girl inside is still happiest in her jeans and a white t-shirt goofing around with friends, snorting while laughing at jokes and making faces.  

Hope you are having a great week so far.  Remember, do your best to be kind.  Find a random act of kindness and pay it forward.  The only reason you should be looking down at people is when you are helping someone up.  This is what I tell my boys every day.

Life Vest Inside - Kindness Boomerang - "One Day"

Being organic you

Trusting ourselves and who we are is a big step forward in life. 

Regardless of you nationality, gender or who you love no one, not a single soul should decide who you become in life.   

We have influences, good and bad but it's up to you on how you let them, if at all control your direction.   When you come into this big world and start life, someone guides it until your eyes open, your heart exposed and your mind starts thinking for itself. 

This is where being true to yourself, or as I put it, being organic you.  Start to listen, form your opinions on knowledge and your own experiences. If someone offers you theirs, question them. Ask why and get as many facts as possible.  Challenge opinions, not to prove wrong but to prove right.  

Remember, don't live your life for others but choose to live it for you.  

Unexpected rewards

Flash back 24 hours.  

It’s Friday morning and we all anticipate the weekend.  If it’s for a night out, a late morning rise or a simple leisurely weekend.  Right now, you are working hard to complete the task at hand so that you can enjoy those moments. 

This Friday was no different for myself.  Happily working away, goal in mind knowing what lays ahead of me.  I had planned to volunteer with a good friend.  She inspires me and gives me guidance.  Young enough to be a daughter but wise enough to learn from.  Regardless, together we always have a great laugh.

It was going to be a 3 hour night of standing on your feet, selling raffle tickets for the MS Foundation.  If you have to ask how it was, let me give you some insight.

We were the first 2 to grab those lovely smocks (Nichole 1 & myself 2).  Then proceeded with the 30 some odd volunteers for ‘training’.  Of course before it started, we both chatted up a storm with anyone near by.  I was fortunate enough to meet this woman, who just lost hear husband 5 months ago.  She was telling me the adventure of their lives & the best part of her life.  She went on to say they would do things like this together.  

Okay, so I headed out with Nichole to sell tickets.  We laughed, did random things with complete strangers like dancing, singing, following and cheering.  It made so many people laugh including ourselves.  I’m quite certain that if we didn’t sell the ‘winning’ ticket, we made someone’s night.  It didn’t really cost me a thing other than my time which I’d gladly give away for those sore cheeks, softened heart and the wee bit of sore feet at the end of the evening.  

If you get the opportunity, give back.  It has more rewards than you anticipate.

The end can be the means to a beginning

Each of us are given this slot in life.  What we choose to do with it is com-PLE-tly up to us.  

I can’t say I believe in chance meetings, things in life fall into place and happen for a reason. Lessons mostly.  WE all need to learn what we take from each experience.  

Regardless of how the experience ends, don’t be angry, hurt or sad.  Keep it close to you and be glad it happened.  Perhaps right now in this moment it hurts too much to say it’s okay, too much to say you were happy it was with your life this was shared.  

The ends to everything can hurt but the ends are the means to a beginning.  Each turn, each step you take is away from your fear but towards something fantastic.  

Live life.  That’s what we have it for.  Open your eyes, stretch your arms and open yourself up.  Use words, your mind, your soul, your heart.. any part of you to live it.  Don’t be afraid to tell someone you love them.  Know it’s okay to feel your emotions and laugh.  

Learning more from your children than they do from you.

I never fully comprehended what it was to be a parent, how hard the work ahead was and what the results would look like.  Here’s what I’ve discovered.

I was an 18 year old girl when I gave birth to my first child.  I figured I owed it to him to do the best job I could.  I have no regrets and figured that I’d learn as I went along.  Never putting him in harms way.  Certainly I knew that much.  

I would read to him, sing to him, tuck him in at night extra tight.  Protect him from anything I felt, saw and smelt.  He had clothing on his back, food in his belly and a roof over his head.  I told him to not be the centre of the world.  It was safer not to be noticed.  Just carry on with your ‘have to’s’ and those ‘want to’s’ can hold off until we have more time, money or whatever it is that gave us the opportunity.

In the process of raising my child, I did my best to lead by example.  I wasn’t perfect, making  mistakes along the path.  Not at the expense of his safety or well being mind you.  Just learning like each of us do.  

Now I into my second child.  10 years apart and the lessons I’ve learnt are being carried over and I hope that this time around I don’t create the reflection of my fears but the reflection of my hopes.  Each day is a challenge but I see each day with a reward when I see both of my boys being wonderfully strong, determined people who I am proud to have part of my life.  

Raising a child isn’t always about butterfly kisses, and painted rainbows on the fridge.  It’s about discovering who you are.  Your fears and learning to let them go, your needs and putting them last, your life and learning to live it for others.  

Don't let them change you

I enjoy the privilege of hearing conversations, thoughts and life in general. Tonight I was enjoying coffee at a local shop, doing work and listening. I admit, the work was slow as conversations were a flurry and it was more enjoyable than the task at hand

Someone's opinion struck me though. They were afraid of the ones out there that take advantage.  This person was bitter, angry. I would want to guess because they were mistreated, misused, misguided. I wanted to join the conversation and let them know that the percentage isn't that big, the good ones are over looked by arrogance, pride and emotion. 

One key in life is to try and not let others take away the best part of your life. Believe in yourself when others try to take you down. Believe in others when they give you doubt. Remember, we are human. Forgive so you can be who you are without doubt. 

Unknowing and largest RAK

I watch several people succeed in what they do by the chances they take.  I’ve been told that several of them have fallen more than once, however the key to their success isn’t having the financial backing but themselves going over and over with a drive that won’t stop until they get there.  

The biggest key, the best part of this?  They were given confidence.  By friends, family... it was one of the biggest Random Act’s of Kindness in their lives and they may not even be aware of it.  Someone said they could do it, someone instilled belief that it’s possible.  

From this moment on, remember you may have a part in helping building someone’s success.  You may not know it.  Perhaps you’ve already done it.  Yesterday you said to your friend, “I think you can actually do this”.  will be all that it takes.  

This cost you nothing, your time was small and when you see what happens, the rewards are endless and priceless.  

Remember, the opposite is true.  As much as 1 single, positive & thought provoking comment can build a person, help them succeed, 1 small negative and self doubting comment can tear a person down just as quickly with as much consequence.

Paybacks

While growing up, mum would take us to Gram’s for a visit.  We’d sit at her feet as a young child, beside her on the couch as a young teen, or at the kitchen table sipping tea as a young adult.  All the while listen.  Mum and Gram would discuss the events of her day.  Until I was an adult I never understood why she did all the things she did.

Through her life, she was there for many people.  She volunteered wherever she could, help someone, do something kind at any given moment and it was ingrained in me as part of life.  If you have spare time, volunteer, if you had something to give, then so be it.  

She was a volunteer within her church teaching sunday school.  Later in life, she volunteered in a Senior’s home and she did this until the last few years of her life.  

I’d ask her why.  Her answer, simply because it made her feel youthful.  Well, if that’s isn’t one of the keys to happiness, i’m not sure what is.  

Now as an adult, just over 1 year after she passed, I hope to continue her life through my every day actions.  Life to give back.  This is the biggest part of my life and put’s the biggest smiles on my face.  Doing Random acts of kindness, and doing it without expectations is one of the greatest gifts you will receive.  It warms your heart, puts a glow in your smile and is great for your health.  Go ahead and try it, this works.  

Window of regret

I will admit that almost every morning I wake up with a 30 second window of regret.  Just like you, I'd love to keep sleeping.  Why 30 seconds?  That's all it takes for me to see how lucky I am. 

I may not have what I need at times or what I want.  I do have the control in my life to make myself happy. 

I cannot be responsible for others actions regardless of it being emotional or physical but I can be responsible for mine.  I know I cannot change the past but I can change my future.

Regardless of what your past has had, it's exactly that.  You cannot change it, nor can you control others.  You have only yourself to be accountable for.  Accept that truth and move forward.  

Once you've recognised this, start making the most of every moment but know, it is okay to have times where you feel down, after all you and I.. we are the same.   

Making your path

As I sit here at my desk on a cold and gray afternoon, I take a moment to escape into a world where my thoughts leave work and go to a place better than the last few minutes.

Everyone chatters around me, the smell of fresh coffee or warmed lunch.  Some laughter, some quietly tiping away at their work.  I use to think, "oh lord, I want to be somewhere else warmer, resting with a drink in hand".  Now I am sitting here with a smile knowing that I completely love my job.  It may not much but it's what I can do with it. 

All that being said, most of us go day in day out.. head down, ass up working, working, working.  I've come to the place in life that it's not where I work but what I do with what I have. 

I had a great conversation with a wonderful young lady yesterday.  She's unclear about her direction.  I let her know that it's okay.  No one knows their direction until they stumble across it.  We discover it on this road.  I had to let her know to just start her journey, somewhere along the way her path will be paved with her steps.  Just start out with what makes you happy.  

Although the thought of somewhere warm sounds appealing right now (as the snow falls) I know it can hold off.  The sun and sand won't bring a life long smile to my face but my path will.   

Be proud

Strength

streNG(k)TH,strenTH/

noun 




The emotional or mental qualities necessary in dealing with situations or events that are distressing or difficult.

Fortitude, resilience, spirit, backbone, strength of character; Morecourage, bravery, pluck, pluckiness, courageousness, grit, mettle; informalguts, spunk "her great inner strength"




As a parent, I try to guide my children in a direction that I feel is right.  To others, it may not be but it's how I parent and I am okay with this.  The rest in life should be the same.  

Why do we worry about what others think?  If your conviction is strong with one decision, why not the rest?  

I have let others opinions sway me, create doubt and have me question my actions in the past.

How do you let others words sway you?  Do you respond quickly instead of asking them to let you think about it?  Regardless of where you are and what you do in life, think about your reaction.  Not so much in fear of what others think but use it as a learning tool.  Just taking a moment to respond and clarify your answer could be the best thing you can do for yourself.  

Remember, you live once.  Be honest with yourself, hold your belief's close and it's okay to change and evolve into someone you can be proud of.  

Don't let the noise of others drown out your own inner voice.  Most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.  They somehow already know what you truly want to become.  Everything else is secondary.

Connecting the dots

Each time I write, I leave the title to the end.  I don't know where my fingers take me across the key board, my thoughts wandering into the days activities or something that's triggered a memory or feeling.  

I've been lucky in life to be part of things, see & feel.  I may have grown up in a life without.... whatever it was I missed.  The facts are, I grew up surrounded by siblings which at times we fought but I knew they were there for me and loved me.  Mum, regardless of our circumstance  ensured we had a roof over our heads, food in our bellys and clothing on our backs.  Even if they were hand me downs.  Sure I wanted something more but did I know what exactly it was? 

I searched for something more through church at the age of 16, rebelling against my mum.  I had my first child at 18 and was determined to be a good parent.  It didn't take me long to figure out how tough it was.  Through the journey, I discovered what I was looking for was always around me.  Trust, faith & believing in myself first.

Funny how I discovered this years later.  I guess looking back you connect the dots, why things happen to us.  As painful as losing someone is, I try to remember why they were in my life.  As heartbreaking it is to walk away from someone you love, the experience is worth the time spent.  Sometimes, life hands us a bag of rocks.  It's up to us how to use them.  We can toss them back into the ground and forget they existed or... we can take those rocks, work hard polishing them, make them shine and display them with pride.  

It's up to us what we do with the life we have.  Trust, have faith and believe in yourself.  

The difference between 1000 words and priceless

Quite some time ago, my younger son was discussing habits with me.  Smoking, drinking, ectra.  You get the picture.  He started to ask me why someone could be so 'ignorant'.  

I had to think about this one before responding as I wanted to shape this one in what I feel was in the right direction.  At least what I feel is the right direction.

I told my son this;

"babe, that person who is smoking a cigarette isn't bad, it's just a poor choice for them.  The person who has one too many drinks, doesn't make them stupid.  We don't know why we choose to do something but it doesn't make us less of a person.  There were several times in my life that if I choose to judge a person based on their choices (good or bad) that I would never have gotten the opportunity to know who they are".

My parents both enjoy a drink from time to time and both still smoke and I love them no less.   Not the choice I want for my children but I do my best to lead by example and give them the tools to work with.  

Before you go out tomorrow feeling great about yourself (which you should), don't hold bias on someone based on what you see.  I know a picture is worth a thousand words but knowledge is priceless.

Spilt milk

Making decisions based on emotions can be both easy and difficult.  

I love the children I have in my life but don't think for a moment that any of my parenting hasn't been based on my emotions at the time.  I've regretted some of the choices however right after them (if I felt they were wrong), I've admitted it to my children and apologized.  

Not because I am weaker, not due to being smaller but do to the fact that I want my children how to accept an apology and how to admit when they are wrong.  

We can be quick to react to emotions.  The milk spills on the table, leaking onto the rug making what you feel is a quick snack into a time consuming moment where you don't feel you have any to spare.  You yell saying things like; "how could you be so clumsy"?  and then you see it.  The look on their face of let down.  The last thing a child wants is to upset their parents.  

Instead of letting that emotion get ahold of you in the moment, use it as an opportunity.  Hand your child a cloth and have them help out.  There are several thing things they learn from this.

a.) how to react to spilt milk (yes, that was a bit of a funny)

b.) how to treat others when a mistake has happened

c.) how to fix a problem

Before you know it, you have a child learning responsibility, respect and problem solving skills that no school or book can. 

Bravo to you!  

Changing your philosophy

I've been struggling with how encouragement is given.  By employers, parents, whomever.  

While in the local grocery store I was chatting with a complete stranger on how to purchase a type of vegetable.  They gave me useful tips on what to look for and they encouraged me to try a dish i've never done before.  I actually walked out of the store feeling happy.  

Then it got me wondering.  What if we did those types of things on a daily basis.  What if instead of becoming a random act of kindness, they were every day events?

Where to start?  Who do we start with?  Our children is my first thought but then I wonder if this is something that can be done wherever we are, with whomever we are around?  

Here's your challenge.  Wherever you work, start a trend.  Take the lead and go talk to your boss.  DON'T be afraid!  (Remember, when you walk into their office they, more than likely walk around in their underwear at home as well).  That should set your mood.  

Tell them (don't ask) that you want to start a group of people that give back, perhaps weekly or just monthly.  Ask if you can send out a memo or put up a poster asking if others want to join in and plan a meeting.  Then brain storm.  Get ideas together, work as a team and feed the need to want to give back.  You are NOT the only one out there but you are the one who will start this.

If you are in school, do the same thing.  Talk to the head of the school, take the lead and watch it snowball.  Trust me, it will and the rewards are amazing.  YOU start to feel fantastic, you return to work with a drive, head to school with reason and before you know it, you've put smiles on others faces too.

Changing from the cloud to the sun

Some day's I find it difficult to get up, open those eyes and shake that 'feeling' off my shoulders that something is going to happen.  Ug.  You know it.  We all know it.  

Then I stumble down the stairs to let the pup out, crawl back up and brew a cup of java.  Curl up on the big chair and turn the TV on.  

Slowly, my brain starts to function and the last of yesterday's news and this morning's forecast comes on.  I start to see things that have transpired while my head rested on a pillow beneath layers of blankets in a warm house after a productive day at work.

They show others struggling to find exactly what I just left.  A warm bed, safety and a job.  I sigh again.  I am and will be okay.  I can't help but feel fortunate for every moment, awake and asleep.  Even if I'm not feeling that well I still have fortune and I can't deny that.  Not financial but it's a fortune that no one can put value on.  

So that day when you have a dark cloud above you, that feeling you can't shake.  Stop and remember what you value and see how it puts fortune in your life.  

By the way, I didn't forget about Abby my pup.  She was back in with me laying at my feet.  

What will you do?

After I had my morning coffee, I had to peek on some of the social media sites.  Most of us are wishing the best for 2014.  Bigger, better and more.  

A good thing is to set some goals and expect something fantastic.  I'd like to let you know my thoughts for the upcoming year.


To put myself first so that I can start giving back more.  
To learn more so that I can teach my children better.  
To see great results from my efforts ~ the more I put in, the more will return.
To start making choices so that later in life, others can say they choose them too.  
To accept what is around me for face value and not to control it.  In other words, let the chips fall where they may.  
To remember we are all human and make mistakes.
To move forward instead of falling back.

I don't think winning a lottery would make me happier, or healthier.  It doesn't bring back those we've lost this past year, it will not change the past.  

I challenge you to start something up and post it here.  Show me that you have what it takes to give back, learn and lead by example.  It's not about what others think, it's about how you feel.