Don't talk to many in school. Don't share who you are with anyone. Don't, don't, don't. Why did I use that word the most? Fear. I automatically installed fear into my first son due to what I went through, what I was afraid of my son going through. Not that life was horrible but like many children, I faced some adversity as we moved often. Again, I labeled what my son would be like from the get go.
After watching what happened, I choose not to let that be the case for my second son. The last thing I wanted was him to become what I disliked the most. Not just to become what I feared but what what society and other internal influences could shape him to be.
For example, if a child grows up in a family where they feel it's okay to eat specific foods or behave a specific way around a gender type they will become that. They will continue on the pattern they think is the norm. (shaking my head)
So, I choose to teach my child to be as independent as possible. I'll give him the tools to choose, show him how to figure out right from wrong by teaching him to trust his gut. We talk, discuss, ask questions and investigate.
Don't think my first child doesn't know what the heck is going on though. ha.. he's one fantastic young man who, may not know this but I am pretty damn proud of. Not only did he break through the labels I started to put on him with my fears but he smashed them with his goals by succeeding.
Now, with my youngest, I've seen him face adversity with peers, in situations where he's needed to hold his ground, speak his mind (even with me and even if he thinks I'll be offended) and I am, over the moon excited to see where he chooses to take things with his life. He WILL be successful, just like his older brother in whatever he does.
Do you think that labels have a part in parenting, dang straight they do! Just be careful .. kids learn what they live. I remember my mum having this up in the house as we grew up...
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