Learning more from your children than they do from you.

I never fully comprehended what it was to be a parent, how hard the work ahead was and what the results would look like.  Here’s what I’ve discovered.

I was an 18 year old girl when I gave birth to my first child.  I figured I owed it to him to do the best job I could.  I have no regrets and figured that I’d learn as I went along.  Never putting him in harms way.  Certainly I knew that much.  

I would read to him, sing to him, tuck him in at night extra tight.  Protect him from anything I felt, saw and smelt.  He had clothing on his back, food in his belly and a roof over his head.  I told him to not be the centre of the world.  It was safer not to be noticed.  Just carry on with your ‘have to’s’ and those ‘want to’s’ can hold off until we have more time, money or whatever it is that gave us the opportunity.

In the process of raising my child, I did my best to lead by example.  I wasn’t perfect, making  mistakes along the path.  Not at the expense of his safety or well being mind you.  Just learning like each of us do.  

Now I into my second child.  10 years apart and the lessons I’ve learnt are being carried over and I hope that this time around I don’t create the reflection of my fears but the reflection of my hopes.  Each day is a challenge but I see each day with a reward when I see both of my boys being wonderfully strong, determined people who I am proud to have part of my life.  

Raising a child isn’t always about butterfly kisses, and painted rainbows on the fridge.  It’s about discovering who you are.  Your fears and learning to let them go, your needs and putting them last, your life and learning to live it for others.