Be the bird

If by chance you think your smallest actions will not make a difference, think again.

Yesterday, you took a moment to make eye contact and say hello.  Did you know how that other person was feeling inside?  Perhaps slightly down due to lack of sleep or feeling low due to abuse or neglect?  That eye contact and communication you did, might have given them confidence enough to know they are not alone. 

During the week of February 10th to 16th, you did some Random Act’s of Kindness (RAK week) such as buy a coffee for the person behind you in the drive through.  Sure they were ready to pay for themselves, but perhaps the chain followed as far as giving food to someone homeless later in the day?  

Let’s be real.  Your small gestures can turn a life around one step at a time.  Your moments that are surrendered to be part of something bigger has impacts beyond what you see and know.  

This is why you shouldn't hold judgement of that girl in class who came with the same clothing.  Sure you have the opportunity to have clean clothing but instead of thinking her family is lazy, perhaps they cannot afford to wash them or provide more.  Have empathy and accept people for who they are.  The good and the bad cannot exist without each other but if you keep singing like a bird in the morning, eventually, your persistence will get across and you will make a change.  

Why do you wear pink today?

Today represents kindness and compassion.  It also represents a portion of people who have been privy to an act that has gone on for decades.  

This act is supported by apathy, anger, contempt, cruel, unkind emotions.  

It is Anti-bully day here and many people, schools & companies support this day.  Why?  We’ve been there either by being a survivor, a witness or for some the bully.  

There is no reason to step back any further, no excuse to think it’s okay to berate another person, instill fear or make them feel anything less than a wonderful, kind human being.  Be part of this wonderful movement and show everyone that it is okay to be who you are.  

I can recall my elementary days.  We moved lots and I was always an outsider.  For every school I attended, it became harder and harder to adjust and fit in.  No matter what I would say, it was never the right thing and when jealousy’s head came up from others, I was the flea bag, the stupid one.  Not ever worth the protection of teachers or school administrators.  I walked home after school on countless days being pushed, name called and kicked.  I would get home and run to my bedroom, crying and wondering why this was happening.  I wanted to be angry but inside I knew it wasn’t about me, it was about them.  They couldn’t accept change nor were they taught to.  

Today, I am no longer the flea bag, the outside girl.  I am who I am and I mostly care what I think about myself.  When I go to bed at night, the last thing I remember is thinking... today I had a great day, with good choices.  Today, I taught my children to accept things they cannot change, the courage to change  which should be changed and the wisdom to distinguish between the two.  

12 year old hockey player has more honor than the adult that is teaching him to play the game.

http://www.castanet.net/news/Vernon/109300/Courageous-boy-takes-a-stand#null

You have to read this to believe it!

It's just fine

I can't stress enough the exact word 'stress'.  Situations happen in life that most of us can't control.  How we react is a key to surviving and making it to the next day. 

I'll admit the past week has been tough and although I've not said much I found it hard to do much writing.  Just like yourselves, I felt a cloud of frustration over me at times, emotions that come up unexpected and I had to see the lighter, better side of things. 

All in the past 7 days I’ve had a variety of ’not so fun’ situations happen.  Sure I've had good moments but the other parts took over and I let go. 

Not what I tell everyone to do, not what I believe in.  The one thing that did keep me above water was knowing I am not the only one to slip. 

So this morning, I woke up to a good song got showered and 'washed away' that feeling.  All in the time I had, completed laundry and did the dishes.  Made the morning fruit smoothies, had my coffee and instead of watching the news, I searched facebook for positive stories.  I found a few and before I left the house for work felt like a new person. 

So I suppose, when I reflect and say to you that it's your choice I want you to remember that if you do the same, if you happen to stumble.  Remember it's just fine. 

Crime Worth Forgiving, Thai Commercial True Move H Amazing Thai AD Will ...

Be who you are

I’ve had friends who chose to walk away, some breaking my heart in the process.  I cannot change how they feel but I do know who I am and will always be.  

You can call me names, you can beat me down but I refuse to give you the control of who I am.  I am and always will be me.  I will no longer accept change that isn’t done by anyone other than me.  If it’s not going to fit your mold, your idea of what you wanted, then leave.  Walk away but know that when you do, you will lose out on something amazing, something wonderful and simply put, I will be okay with that.  

Teach your children to live this, they will learn that no man or woman will create them nor give them value.  THEY are in control, that is the best part of being a parent.  Seeing them learn that they can choose the good, the bad and the ugly.  

All the while, it was there.

As though it was intended to be, my life has unfolded all while I felt it was falling apart.  

No one told me where I was going and as much as I wanted my parents to say, ‘be a Lawyer, Doctor, Teacher’ as much as I wanted guidance I suppose without it I received much more.  

I learnt to stand on my own, conquer my fears and become who I am today.  Some would say that it’s a foolish way of parenting, now I would say to you it was wise. 

I see my children become people on their own.  Discover their strengths and conquer their dreams.  I see my older son be who he wants to be without me making that choice, living his life for himself.  I see my younger son enjoy the moments and create his own path.  

This is part of my philosophy.  It may not be right to you but it’s right for them.  I always wanted a book to read about how to be the best parent, I wanted guidance to show them how to be good people.  All the while, it was always there.  

Their voices will carry forward

The first time it happened I was 5 years old.  

They came and left quickly.  All these children who were in abusive situations and had to leave their place for the safety of ours.  They stayed until a home was found for them.  I couldn’t even begin to imagine the life they had been part of.  Their voices stifled so young innocence taken.  

As life passed me I saw children come and go, some lives perhaps changed for the better.  I can’t even describe some of the situations they came from, their state of mind or shape of their physical being.  It was enough for me to learn compassion.  From that point on, I learned not to pass judgment and started to try to understand others.

Now in the present moment.  We went to a hockey game the other night and to sing the anthem were a group of young kids.  Normally, I would pipe in loud and sing along but I kept my voice down and listened to those children and their voices.  It was amazing.

Today when you are out and about take a moment and listen to a child.  Watch how they react and absorb in whatever kindness, goodness and innocence they have.  They don’t have it for long, if it hasn’t already been taken.  Do a RAK for a child.  Perhaps in their future, they will remember your kindness and pay it forward.

What is this?

It isn’t something you find under a rock, in the depth of the ocean waters or behind the white fluffy clouds.  Not a place or a thing nor is it something you can put a price on.  

It takes no shape and it lights no room.  This cannot be simply taught or taken. 

This is love.  Love isn’t found it’s discovered.  It surrounds us completely, it has no shape as it’s all encompassing.  It is so completely pure that light cannot define it.  It can be given away without a second thought and is found by the youngest child and lost at times by the oldest heart.  

Out of your zone

Sitting here sipping wine waiting for the cookie dough I just prepared almost an hour ago to chill.  I catch up on several comments with Facebook and twitter.  I have to admit, I’m a bit of an addict when it comes to reading others stories and lives.  I’ve been on line with groups for just over 13 years now.  

It’s opened many doors and for that, I am grateful.  I’ve found many opportunities and discovered that my passion is shared by many. 

Tonight while doing my usual surfing, I saw a friend who has decided to change a challenge around and I applaud her for it.

Instead of following others, she took this challenge and made it a “nice” nomination, where the next person has 24 to do the same and post it on line.  Where did it put me?  Over the moon and back again.  There are many of us out there that want to see a difference made and to be honest, all it takes is one of us, stepping out of our comfort zone and doing it.  So, tomorrow when you are out and about.  Just do it.  Do something kind.  Pay it forward and have fun.  

My Random Act of Kindness went more ways than I anticipated....

Tonight I enjoyed dinner with my husband and younger son for my birthday.  A little Vietnamese place we’ve been going to for almost 20 years.  Both my boys have grown up on their food, almost monthly.  

Seeing as it was my birthday, I had asked friends that instead of giving me a gift, to do a random act of kindness or a pay it forward act.  Both equally the same.  Simply keep me in mind and then let me know what they did.  Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a bragging board, or rights to a feel good story, it’s actually me hoping that others see this and it catches on.  Not for me but well, we’ve all seen how things can snowball.

So tonight, after my husband paid for dinner, I told my son to stay with me.  We did an about face, walked over to the counter and quietly told the owner that we wanted to pay for the couple behind us.  She looked at me and laughed.  “why”?  I simply told her it was my random act of kindness, it was something I wanted to do to celebrate my birthday.  So, she got their bill and I paid.  She asked me if I wanted to tell them, I told her, no.  You do it but wait until I leave please.  I took the receipt and wrote “Pay it forward” and doodled a heart.  Nothing more.  

I felt amazing.  The best part though?  My son saw it.  He participated and when we got into the car where my husband was waiting, he told me he’s never felt that way before.  

That my friends, is the greatest gift i’ve ever received to date.

Ageless

I often hear my friends deny their age, as if it’s a horrible thing.  It’s okay to be afraid of the time passed but what if you looked at it like this.

Time has passed.  Over 40 some odd years for me now and I couldn’t be more thankful.  

I didn’t have a large home nor did I own expensive items growing up.  I had a loving family and priceless memories. I learnt compassion, diversity and hope that no university can teach.  Like many, I survived periods in life, learning to over come and forgive I wouldn’t trade those experiences for anything.  I know what it’s like to live and let go.  I have the desire to have fun, live my life and give as much as possible.  

Time hasn’t been wasted, time has been gifted and for every moment that I have on this earth regardless if it’s another month or 20 years more I will be thankful for each.  

Waking with positive

Ending your moment on a great note starts the next in a right direction. 

Let me explain. 

I've had days where the end made me feel broken, hurt and down. Sleep alluded and the feeling on the following day was dread, heavy and carried regret. 

There have been days though I've ended them feeling as though nothing could have gone better. I sleep great, wake refreshed and ready to face another day. 

My point is, at the end of the day, we need to let go of what held us back and move forward. Use that positive in our lives, let go of what broke us and what hurt us. 

Grab what made you feel good, keep close what put you in the place and use that for the next day. 

Remember, the choice is ultimately yours. 

Misunderstandings

Learning from one’s mistakes is the best teacher we can have in life.

I am not innocent or perfect.  I’ve made several mistakes.  Some more often than others. 

I believe,our biggest lesson is learning to step back and listen.  Hear the facts and do the best to not only hold judgement but to be as educated about a situation or a person’s choice of actions.  If you were to take everything the media tells us for the complete truth or to trust each word from a loved one as the 100% fact then you’ve been mislead.  I even question my parents words, not to disrespect but to learn. 

The amazing thing is when you start to do this, you reflect compassion, patience and understanding.  Perhaps you won’t always agree with someone but you can still love them regardless. 

Perspective, actions and truths

Last year this time I was faced with some choices.  At first, my typical attitude was ‘I can do this’.  Then after a month, I thought 'I can’t'.  I was starting to panic and was ready to throw in the towel.  

Today, I still face the same challenge but it’s been a year of gained perspective.  I know I can do it and more.  I discovered that I have this reserve inside that kicks in as well as some great friends who cheered me on and when I started to doubt myself they pushed my doubt aside and reassured me it is possible.

Why am I sharing this?  This is about perspective and time.  In the moment for all of us we doubt an action we’ve done or words we’ve chosen.  The key to this is knowing you can’t change the past but you can change the future.  

Look back at yourself a year ago have you come ahead?  Did you face those choices as I did?  What was the outcome? 

Perspective is a great teacher; it’s up to you and I to see how we can change ourselves and the outcomes.  

Know that you will come ahead of this struggle stronger and wiser. 

The most important steps

Time to reflect on how one’s journey has been and where it might go is one of the best things for self preservation.  Here was my journey in a nut shell.

1.) Face the issues head on.  
This means taking on the bullies, the abusers the self centred ones that see nothing past their own reflection. Let them know they no longer have the keys to your life.  (I started to take on the persona of a survivor and no longer the victim). Take back the control of where it is going and how you are feeling.  

2.) Face yourself head on.
Figure out who you are and where you lost yourself.  Don’t give any more time to those who you had torn you down.  The more time and energy you give them, the more control you will lose.  Remember, this is your life.  (I started to believe that I was worth more than this and evaluated my belief’s then I had a foundation to work from).

3.) Start to find things that make you happy, give you purpose. 
Remember, these values are actions, not items or people.  Head out and do some good.  You have time.  Volunteer for different organizations, companies and people.  This is one of the easiest ways to find out a passion and to heal.  Not only will you find out more about yourself but you will start to discover gratitude, patience and compassion.  You’ll make friends who support your positive change and the circle you once belonged to will no longer matter.  (I returned to school, volunteered in the community and helped at any given moment, I no longer see them so much as Random Acts of Kindness but a way of life).

4.) Investing in your belief’s.
You’ll find that by now, your energy is up and you want to do more.  Giving back means self reward.  You’ll notice that the time you invest has insurmountable paybacks.  Take a moment  while walking to pay attention to those around you.  See what changes are needed and start taking part in the movement.  Step out of your comfort zone and challenge yourself hourly, daily, weekly, monthly and even yearly.  You’ll discover how strong you truly are.  Don’t try to be someone else, you are the best you ever.