All the while, it was there.

As though it was intended to be, my life has unfolded all while I felt it was falling apart.  

No one told me where I was going and as much as I wanted my parents to say, ‘be a Lawyer, Doctor, Teacher’ as much as I wanted guidance I suppose without it I received much more.  

I learnt to stand on my own, conquer my fears and become who I am today.  Some would say that it’s a foolish way of parenting, now I would say to you it was wise. 

I see my children become people on their own.  Discover their strengths and conquer their dreams.  I see my older son be who he wants to be without me making that choice, living his life for himself.  I see my younger son enjoy the moments and create his own path.  

This is part of my philosophy.  It may not be right to you but it’s right for them.  I always wanted a book to read about how to be the best parent, I wanted guidance to show them how to be good people.  All the while, it was always there.  

Their voices will carry forward

The first time it happened I was 5 years old.  

They came and left quickly.  All these children who were in abusive situations and had to leave their place for the safety of ours.  They stayed until a home was found for them.  I couldn’t even begin to imagine the life they had been part of.  Their voices stifled so young innocence taken.  

As life passed me I saw children come and go, some lives perhaps changed for the better.  I can’t even describe some of the situations they came from, their state of mind or shape of their physical being.  It was enough for me to learn compassion.  From that point on, I learned not to pass judgment and started to try to understand others.

Now in the present moment.  We went to a hockey game the other night and to sing the anthem were a group of young kids.  Normally, I would pipe in loud and sing along but I kept my voice down and listened to those children and their voices.  It was amazing.

Today when you are out and about take a moment and listen to a child.  Watch how they react and absorb in whatever kindness, goodness and innocence they have.  They don’t have it for long, if it hasn’t already been taken.  Do a RAK for a child.  Perhaps in their future, they will remember your kindness and pay it forward.

What is this?

It isn’t something you find under a rock, in the depth of the ocean waters or behind the white fluffy clouds.  Not a place or a thing nor is it something you can put a price on.  

It takes no shape and it lights no room.  This cannot be simply taught or taken. 

This is love.  Love isn’t found it’s discovered.  It surrounds us completely, it has no shape as it’s all encompassing.  It is so completely pure that light cannot define it.  It can be given away without a second thought and is found by the youngest child and lost at times by the oldest heart.  

Out of your zone

Sitting here sipping wine waiting for the cookie dough I just prepared almost an hour ago to chill.  I catch up on several comments with Facebook and twitter.  I have to admit, I’m a bit of an addict when it comes to reading others stories and lives.  I’ve been on line with groups for just over 13 years now.  

It’s opened many doors and for that, I am grateful.  I’ve found many opportunities and discovered that my passion is shared by many. 

Tonight while doing my usual surfing, I saw a friend who has decided to change a challenge around and I applaud her for it.

Instead of following others, she took this challenge and made it a “nice” nomination, where the next person has 24 to do the same and post it on line.  Where did it put me?  Over the moon and back again.  There are many of us out there that want to see a difference made and to be honest, all it takes is one of us, stepping out of our comfort zone and doing it.  So, tomorrow when you are out and about.  Just do it.  Do something kind.  Pay it forward and have fun.  

My Random Act of Kindness went more ways than I anticipated....

Tonight I enjoyed dinner with my husband and younger son for my birthday.  A little Vietnamese place we’ve been going to for almost 20 years.  Both my boys have grown up on their food, almost monthly.  

Seeing as it was my birthday, I had asked friends that instead of giving me a gift, to do a random act of kindness or a pay it forward act.  Both equally the same.  Simply keep me in mind and then let me know what they did.  Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a bragging board, or rights to a feel good story, it’s actually me hoping that others see this and it catches on.  Not for me but well, we’ve all seen how things can snowball.

So tonight, after my husband paid for dinner, I told my son to stay with me.  We did an about face, walked over to the counter and quietly told the owner that we wanted to pay for the couple behind us.  She looked at me and laughed.  “why”?  I simply told her it was my random act of kindness, it was something I wanted to do to celebrate my birthday.  So, she got their bill and I paid.  She asked me if I wanted to tell them, I told her, no.  You do it but wait until I leave please.  I took the receipt and wrote “Pay it forward” and doodled a heart.  Nothing more.  

I felt amazing.  The best part though?  My son saw it.  He participated and when we got into the car where my husband was waiting, he told me he’s never felt that way before.  

That my friends, is the greatest gift i’ve ever received to date.

Ageless

I often hear my friends deny their age, as if it’s a horrible thing.  It’s okay to be afraid of the time passed but what if you looked at it like this.

Time has passed.  Over 40 some odd years for me now and I couldn’t be more thankful.  

I didn’t have a large home nor did I own expensive items growing up.  I had a loving family and priceless memories. I learnt compassion, diversity and hope that no university can teach.  Like many, I survived periods in life, learning to over come and forgive I wouldn’t trade those experiences for anything.  I know what it’s like to live and let go.  I have the desire to have fun, live my life and give as much as possible.  

Time hasn’t been wasted, time has been gifted and for every moment that I have on this earth regardless if it’s another month or 20 years more I will be thankful for each.  

Waking with positive

Ending your moment on a great note starts the next in a right direction. 

Let me explain. 

I've had days where the end made me feel broken, hurt and down. Sleep alluded and the feeling on the following day was dread, heavy and carried regret. 

There have been days though I've ended them feeling as though nothing could have gone better. I sleep great, wake refreshed and ready to face another day. 

My point is, at the end of the day, we need to let go of what held us back and move forward. Use that positive in our lives, let go of what broke us and what hurt us. 

Grab what made you feel good, keep close what put you in the place and use that for the next day. 

Remember, the choice is ultimately yours. 

Misunderstandings

Learning from one’s mistakes is the best teacher we can have in life.

I am not innocent or perfect.  I’ve made several mistakes.  Some more often than others. 

I believe,our biggest lesson is learning to step back and listen.  Hear the facts and do the best to not only hold judgement but to be as educated about a situation or a person’s choice of actions.  If you were to take everything the media tells us for the complete truth or to trust each word from a loved one as the 100% fact then you’ve been mislead.  I even question my parents words, not to disrespect but to learn. 

The amazing thing is when you start to do this, you reflect compassion, patience and understanding.  Perhaps you won’t always agree with someone but you can still love them regardless. 

Perspective, actions and truths

Last year this time I was faced with some choices.  At first, my typical attitude was ‘I can do this’.  Then after a month, I thought 'I can’t'.  I was starting to panic and was ready to throw in the towel.  

Today, I still face the same challenge but it’s been a year of gained perspective.  I know I can do it and more.  I discovered that I have this reserve inside that kicks in as well as some great friends who cheered me on and when I started to doubt myself they pushed my doubt aside and reassured me it is possible.

Why am I sharing this?  This is about perspective and time.  In the moment for all of us we doubt an action we’ve done or words we’ve chosen.  The key to this is knowing you can’t change the past but you can change the future.  

Look back at yourself a year ago have you come ahead?  Did you face those choices as I did?  What was the outcome? 

Perspective is a great teacher; it’s up to you and I to see how we can change ourselves and the outcomes.  

Know that you will come ahead of this struggle stronger and wiser. 

The most important steps

Time to reflect on how one’s journey has been and where it might go is one of the best things for self preservation.  Here was my journey in a nut shell.

1.) Face the issues head on.  
This means taking on the bullies, the abusers the self centred ones that see nothing past their own reflection. Let them know they no longer have the keys to your life.  (I started to take on the persona of a survivor and no longer the victim). Take back the control of where it is going and how you are feeling.  

2.) Face yourself head on.
Figure out who you are and where you lost yourself.  Don’t give any more time to those who you had torn you down.  The more time and energy you give them, the more control you will lose.  Remember, this is your life.  (I started to believe that I was worth more than this and evaluated my belief’s then I had a foundation to work from).

3.) Start to find things that make you happy, give you purpose. 
Remember, these values are actions, not items or people.  Head out and do some good.  You have time.  Volunteer for different organizations, companies and people.  This is one of the easiest ways to find out a passion and to heal.  Not only will you find out more about yourself but you will start to discover gratitude, patience and compassion.  You’ll make friends who support your positive change and the circle you once belonged to will no longer matter.  (I returned to school, volunteered in the community and helped at any given moment, I no longer see them so much as Random Acts of Kindness but a way of life).

4.) Investing in your belief’s.
You’ll find that by now, your energy is up and you want to do more.  Giving back means self reward.  You’ll notice that the time you invest has insurmountable paybacks.  Take a moment  while walking to pay attention to those around you.  See what changes are needed and start taking part in the movement.  Step out of your comfort zone and challenge yourself hourly, daily, weekly, monthly and even yearly.  You’ll discover how strong you truly are.  Don’t try to be someone else, you are the best you ever.