We are not made from the exact cloth but we are united by the same group of people. My family as vast as it is, may differ from one opinion to another but we care for each other.
We grew up together and discovered how our differences can make our unit stronger. Not to mention the greatest group of compassionate people I’ve met.
See, mum had the strength to not only raise us but had enough room in her heart to open the doors to emergency foster children. For 10 years, children from newborns all the way up were dropped off (sometimes in the middle of the night) for her to care for.
We saw all ethnicity’s and cultures. With this, we learnt that we all bleed the same.
Trust me, it wasn’t easy at first. At least to comprehend what was going on after all, I was 5 years old.
I may have been one of those daughters that wanted more as a child but I understood quickly that I had more than others. Even if we had to move frequently, even if we lacked fresh food at times, mostly as I disliked wearing my brothers clothing, I still had all of the above provided and that was the best lesson one can learn. To be humble.
I had a roof over my head, food in my belly and clothing on my back. I have a vast family that is not just connected by blood but by time.
Take a look back at your life. No matter how hard it seemed, can you turn that into a positive learning curb? Will you tell me what you did to survive and how it made you a better person? Take inventory of the struggles and see how they shaped you.
I had to take a little hyatias from writing. I wasn’t feeling my usual self and the last thing I want to do is bring anyone else down with me. All is well and I have my favorite thing to write about today.
The question that comes to mind is ... where do I start? I am talking about children. I am not an expert at raising every type of child, but I think I did okay with mine. I mean, my oldest completed school, went on to get a degree of some sorts and is working and living with the most bea-UT-Iful lady I’ve met. Granted he is only 23 but he seems to be happy. Then my 2nd child... he’s sassy and confident all in one package. He’s only in grade 9 now... but I do trust that if I left him alone, he would survive and be kind.
Well, my point to today’s positive note is that all you have to do to raise a confident, eager child is lead.
Don’t do.
Don’t do it for them, show them how you do it.
Never gossip, stay away from negative things, don’t blame others for your mistakes, look for answers and feed the need to learn. The minute they ask you, have fun with it.
Use whatever means you have to seize the moment.
You own voice is only yours. Sing loud and clear. Tell your story and don't be afraid of what you have to say. Hold yourself high and believe in your truths. Know that today is always a success story. Why? You made it through. You became better today, you made a difference in someones life, even if you don't know it. That wonderful smile, your warm hug and a kind gesture made someones day, helped them survive another one. So stand tall, don't hide behind a rock. Let the world know how bright and beautiful you are inside and out.
In the process of losing my mind, I found a piece of happiness...
"Sometimes when you follow your dream; it opens the door for others to be able to follow theirs". -Neil Patel
Then it struck me, I don't need to search for happiness when what makes me happy is right here.
I have this little person in my heart that wants to keep going on a drive that I have. Sometimes, that little voice fades away with fear. When I've said that you should not be afraid to roar out your dreams, I mean it. Whatever you have that inspires you go with it. Let it be your drive and success with life will happen.
Happiness is not found in objects or people but within ourselves when we know the goal has been met. Our goals, our dreams and our lives.
Some days it can be hard not to let the decisions of others change the outcome of your day.
Today was difficult. I let the beginning lead my day. I let go of the control I usually have and gave it to someone who took me down the wrong path for the entire day. I kept my head down, my voice low and I lost confidence all to one person.
I hope that you don’t let this happen and if it does, recognise it and let it go. Stop empowering others when the choice is yours. Stop giving your happiness away.
Today is over. Tomorrow is another.
Every day I treat each moment as opportunities to pay it forward, to be the living example of what change I want to see happen. At times though I falter. I say something that surprises me. Something negative, something not nice. I stop and take a deep breath.
We want to change, to create a better world. It is okay to fall sometimes though. We need to recognise that others will fall at times, no one single person is perfect.
So when you see someone stumble, don't correct them. Help them. Don't shoot them down but lend a hand without saying a word. Sometimes silence is as valuable as a word of encouragement.
I'll admit, I enjoy Social Media. It's an easy way to keep up on the lives of friends or even family. Things can get hectic and chaotic at times. It's a way I use time to relax and see what's going on. I even see all those questionnaire's about our personalities on Facebook.
You know the ones. You may have taken one, perhaps two? "What color best describes you" or "Which friends personality are you"?
I get a chuckle out of seeing who people think they are. I suppose we all compare ourselves to others. Starting from being a newborn to our death bed.
How much did we weigh at birth, what was the average height, how long did our relatives live to and even education. Standards are only in place to measure where we are going.
All of that said, you have to remember a very important thing.
There is only one you.
There is no one out there that is like you, not even close. Not a person with that same smile, those eyes, that laughter. There is no duplicate.
You are one of a kind.
So I laugh at the questionnaire's on Social Media asking you "Who are you mostly like"? Remember, NO ONE. You are yourself. Bold, beautiful and strong. You are kind, loving, forgiving and smart.
Take a moment right now, look in that mirror and say to yourself,
"It's okay to be me".
Every single day I am faced with, let’s call them “opportunities”.
I would call them challenges but let’s face it, any thing that stops a smile is an opportunity to change it.
Being reminded of my personal reactions is a good way to learn. When I was a child, wanting a sweet I, like so many others around me at that age would ask and if the answer was no, would toss around until I thought I’d get my way. Nope... not me. I’d get a lickin when we got home.
Lesson 1. You can’t always get what you want. Also, don’t upset your parents, they control everything you get until you get a job.
Then as a teen in school, I’d work hard at assignments and still not get a high enough mark. I went to the teacher to complain. Whammo, my mark was lowered for arguing with the teacher.
Lesson 2. Some days no matter how hard you try, you may not do as good as you intended. Also, don’t cross your teachers, they will help you when you ask for it but they truly control your marks.
As a young adult, working I spoke back to a supervisor in a manner I thought was funny. She didn’t and I was promptly fired.
Lesson 3. Hold your tongue. Not everyone has the same humour as you. Follow their lead. You can think what you want, use your “inside voice”.
As a lady in her 30’s I thought I had parenting figured out. I always protected my boys... until I found out that some of the words coming out were not always true.
Lesson 4. Remember that the story you hear is only half the truth. Hold judgement until you hear both sides. Perspective is a powerful tool. No matter what, we all think our kids are perfect, will do no wrong. That simply isn’t the truth, they will fall like us.
Now as a lady in her 40’s, I want to believe that everyone’s intentions are the same. I know this isn’t true but I want to believe integrity is still out there. If it’s not, I’ll still hold my ground.
Lesson 5. You have to see that not everyone is the same, however you should still respect their opinion. It may not be yours but it belongs to someone who is just as important and it’s okay.
Each opportunity has helped me grow and become who I am. No, I won’t change for another. No, I won’t argue my point any more. It’s not worth the energy spent on it. I will keep silent and nod my head though.
Well, I never thought that 23 years ago my investment would have so many returns. That the second time I thought of taking the chance the amount of returns would be priceless.
It was tough at first.
23 years ... well, actually almost 24 years ago. I put every penny away and trusted my gut to go with this one. Did it ever pay off!
Then almost 14 years ago, I did it again. I took the plunge and put everything I had and invested it. I mean every stock I owned, every penny...
Now I have everything I’ve ever wanted.
So, you are wondering what did I invest in? How much did I make?
I invested my life for 2 lives.
I took the plunge at 18 and said yes to my first one. I invested my heart to begin with, then my sweat and a few tears. What did I gain?
Laughter, adventures, education and humility. I digressed to a child myself at times. I could say that I found the fountain of youth. I learnt how to apologise to a child and how to accept one from an adult. I experienced life again and I learnt how to let go. I was shown unconditional love and what success looks like. Not my success, but his.
Then, 13 years ago I did it all over again. I jumped in, holding my breath. All of me, all in. Like a game of poker.
What did the investment pay?
I was taught to give without expecting a return. I was given insight, patience and gratitude. Unmeasurable trust, weightless faith and countless smiles.
Not one school can teach these through text books, none of these can be purchased and the dividends will pay off for the rest of time.
This is how to invest.
Through no choice of my own, I was born a girl. I’ve come to know that I enjoy being with the opposite sex. This use to be thought of as the majority and the norm.
Things have changed so much over the past 100 years. For instance, people of any gender or nationality became people, could vote, have rights.
Marriages that were once not acceptable are now part of life, opening our minds to discovering what others can offer. Regardless of where we come from, who we are and where we want to be is leaving me speechless. This isn’t about making a choice but accepting who we all are.
I am a proud friend of so many men & women that are making change in this City, Country & World. I am part of who they are regardless of who I am, we are all human. My friends accept me as I am and what I’ve done in this life.
I will continue to stand up to those who voice an opinion against oppression and ignorance. I will continue to stand up for what I feel is right as I am proud to call myself their friend. Pride week is not only celebrating the diversity of sexual differences, it is celebrating pride of evolution.
It isn’t found under rocks after a warm, wet morning.
Nor is it found hidden behind clouds in the sky.
There are no words to describe what is felt when it is found.
All ages discover the definition without knowing it.
No bitter taste is left after one has had their first encounter.
This is courage.
Each step one takes towards a better being creates courage. We don’t give this enough credit and when it’s used we all surprise ourselves.
Regardless if you are young or old, tall or short, big or small we all require it sometime in our lives.
Trust yourself a bit and know that tomorrow you’ll look back and see you made it through the day and that it will be there again tomorrow.
I've quickly discovered that no matter what others think, my values may not be the same as theirs.
It is okay to not think the same.
After years of discovering who I am, I now know that as much as I disagree with others, I am starting to keep my thoughts without voicing them.
Why voice my opinion?
Partly for my pride. It's not right but it's the honest truth. The other reasons? To show my children to learn what they live. Here's my scenario today.
I overheard someone saying something racist. I almost stood up and asked that person to leave. What stopped me? I don't know but they will know in the future going forward it will not be tolerated. No comments, no slang, nothing. I am tired of some one judging others based on the color of skin, the accent of their voice or their choices in life.
My mum told me growing up something that has stuck to me and will forever define how I see everyone.
"If you cut a person, will they not bleed the same"?
I suppose, instead of anger, I should feel empathy for that person. That they are so narrow minded, they miss out on a greater life.
Every day you see anger. It’s not hard to find it.
I see people yelling at each other, mistreat each other and mistreating themselves. most times physical but at times, emotional.
I shake my head at the wasted energy and wonder what can I do to make a change.
Here’s where I started and will continue with myself. To make a change, I have to be the change I want to see.
Make it a challenge with some friends.
15 days of positive thinking.
When you are driving, let someone in. Buy a coffee for someone behind you. Smile at a stranger. Volunteer. Pack a grab bag with snacks, shoes, socks and even an old jacket in your car, give it to someone you think may need it, or at least part of it. Pass a complement to someone. Try to think of other’s perspective when you start to get upset. Believe in yourself. Listen. Watch. Feel and see.
Be the change YOU want to see, others will follow.
