No "I" in Team

While I have been a team manager off and on my youngest child's hockey team years, I picked up many lessons that have changed me as a person.  

"No I in team" 

This is a very strong statement, one that can not only be used in sporting events, group get togethers but mostly in your daily life.  I will reflect on this towards relationships.  Although writing here, at times I find articulating my feelings in life can be difficult.  Past experiences have hindered how I can communicate and it's a daily challenge.  

Teams are in relationships more often than we recognize.  I will say for sure that words such as "I", me and mine" can throw me through a loop.  When you are friends or partners in life, there should be none of that.  Communication is key to learning about others, listening being the most important.  

I cannot stress enough, to make a relationship work you need to listen more than you talk.  Words cut much further and can change the direction in which you want to go.  When you are caught in a moment of frustration, don't use words but take a few moments and reflect.  Focus on the good, look towards something that can be amazing and try your best to hear, truly hear what the other is saying.  Then respond with kindness.  Try to see the others perspective and let your hurt go.  

Anything in life that causes anger, is destructive and this is the last emotion I will ever allow in my life.  So, don't live life with the " I , me or mine", live it as a "we, us and ours" This is what builds a strong and healthy team.  

  

Have faith

Some days are harder than others.  Faith can be taken away by a simple breath, a word or an action.  It's difficult to believe that tomorrow can be better but you have to have faith.  

Not everyone has the best of intention for you, for others.  The key is to keep having faith in yourself.  Stay strong to you, your values and your beliefs.  What others do, well it's simply their choice.  You cannot change them or make one do what you want.  

Just be truest to you.  

I cannot always have faith in another.  It's difficult to know this but it's the simple truth.  

My simple rules in life though?  I'll give everyone a fair shift.  

You know, I'll trust you, be kind and give you my all.  It may hurt me at times when things change and you choose to do or say something but, in the end, I can say I've done my best and I can live with my choices.  I know for certain that I learn from each opportunity, good or bad.  I'll just not give it more than a second chance.  After that, I know it's just not to be.  

If you are struggling with giving trust, just take a step forward.  Don't worry about the possible pain or anguish.  Just go for it and see where the leap takes you.  My friend Danielle keeps telling me, "sometimes, the risk is worth the reward."  

I sure hope she's right.

To conquer

Deep inside, you believe it is true.  No matter what they've told you, what you've been hiding inside is possible and you know, without a doubt .. you can.

It doesn't matter how much someone might squish your thoughts, your beliefs, mostly your values.  If you have it inside (and I'll take a gander you do), that little whisper will grow into something much louder than you can anticipate.  

It will grow slowly, it will snowball and it will conquer ..

every.

single. 

doubt.

You will gain the momentum and you will become more than what they or you ever thought possible.

What can I say for certain?  That no matter how difficult it is in this moment, it's harder to look back and see that you gave up.  That no matter how much the voice kept trying to cheer you on, you let the fear and doubt define you.  

Get back up.  Dust off your knees and keep moving forward.  Nothing, and I say NOTHING is harder to look at when you see yourself in the mirror and know you gave up again.  You are stronger than you think you are.  Be who you know you can be.  

Empathy from exposure

Exposure is, quite simply a key to learning about empathy.  I cannot stress enough about how my life has unfolded and become what it is today.  I am, most certainly not the woman I was 10 years ago much less the girl I was at the age of 10.  

My gratitude to this date is overwhelming and can be focused on all of my life experiences.  From having emergency foster children in our home starting when I was around 5 years of age to last night, serving food at one of our many homeless shelters.  

What I know for sure is that I cannot live a life where I would stop doing what I do now.  Trust me when I say, it's not for glory or praise but for a simple reminder.  Inside, my fears and doubts when I feel things are about to implode and crumble, it reminds me just how things just are.  

I want you to take a moment, be in it and live it.  Truthfully, life can be stressful but take away all your wants.  

Step back from the things and ask yourself;  Are you safe, warm, fed and clothed?  If you can say yes to those, then count your blessings.  Breathe deeply, love completely and live your life to the fullest.  

Fear is a big controller of our actions, from not allowing someone to love us, to anger towards another.  Go ahead, expose yourself so that you can learn about empathy.  Open up your heart a bit to someone or something.  Before you know it, you'll start living a happier life, full of things you never thought possible.  

Great changes

I've stepped away from writing lately as I've been wonderfully preoccupied.  Things sometimes happen that catch you off guard, always when you least expect it.  For this, I am grateful.  

When we get lost in life, a simple change can make more difference than you know, more than you can be prepared for.  Then, the what if's enter your mind.  Positive or otherwise, it's time to throw caution to the wind and just breathe.

Could this be, in fact the best thing that has happened in your life?  What if.. the moment that catches you off guard is the thing that was missing all due to the small distractions weighing you down?  Are you willing to let chance pass or grasp the moment and jump with both feet?

Perhaps it's time to look up and start taking notice of the things around you, the people who are looking for a simple moment without knowing it.  This can possibly turn into something more than you anticipate.  Regardless of the outcome, let your fears pass and just go with it.

Life can create chaos when you don't want it but when the storm passes, you'll see what it was here for.  

Just be yourself

Happiness, having fun and being yourself are keys to success in life.  When you are surrounded by those who love you, they will accept you for who you are, completely.  

If we start to doubt ourselves, we shed our skins to become what others think is best.  Someone we are not.  Trying to live in the "box" that others feel we should be and that, is wrong.  

When we come into this big world, family and friends will dictate to you what they think you should be.  Starting from religion to what you wear, how you view others and where you might go.  Sometimes, what others feel is best for you can actually suffocate you.  

The key is to grow up trying to shed the skin of others and learning to be comfortable in your own.  Develop your own thoughts, key values and beliefs.  Even if it upsets the ones you are surrounded by.  If they love you enough, they will support your choice.    

Don't forget that those values and beliefs, if you have a single doubt then perhaps they aren't the ones best for you.  Re-evaluate them and try another.  Keep on trying.  Don't stop learning about who YOU are.  Then, when you are finally at the point that you feel good, hold fast to yourself and walk forward, confidently onto the next task, the bigger challenge.  Don't ever stop learning or growing.  

God knows, I won't stop and that makes me happiest. 

On a last note, if my youngest can teach me this then I know I'll never stop learning.  How someone wanted to find success and sought out a guru who had it.  They wanted to know what the key to this was. The guru told him in the end, success is something you want more than life itself, you have to fight for it like you fight to breathe.

Go and be busy

Volunteering at the local Ronald McDonald house

Redirecting life can be a challenge in itself but knowing what you need to keep along the journey and what you need to let go can be tougher.  

I've been told my a few people that I can't sit still.  As in, I am out and about many times.  I suppose it bothers some that I keep busy.  

Enjoying the sun and park with a wee friend

You can picture my face squished up, looking at them wondering, "You think something is wrong with ME?" 

Preparing for a surprise water balloon fight

They say that I'm busy like it's a BAD thing.  Woah.  Who ever said having a sedentary life is good?  

Walking with my best friend, Abby in our river valley

My grandmother always told me to keep busy and ANY job is a good job.  No matter what you do, each position is as important as the other and to respect everyone in a company.  (I'm nodding as I type this) 

Okay, I've spent the past week or so keeping busy, and it's been amazing.  I haven't laughed or felt this happy in a long time.  Most of it, not costing me anything.  

Sharing my not so famous Bacon Chocolate Chip cookies!

On route to work at the local carnival 

Making breakfast with my youngest

Giving tours to our first school built in 1881

Before you jump on the "slow down band wagon", I already know life needs balance. I've actually stayed home today, spent some time doing laundry, chilling with Abby and a visits with mum and dad.  I wrote, had a nap and caught up on a few necessary things.  We all know, life is about balance.  Don't eat all those cookies at once!

Exploring downtown Edmonton

My point here is this.  Go.  Live life.  Completely.  Take advantage of every opportunity to do something.  Happiness is something you can create.  

Just breathe

Often, I'll wake up in a panic thinking I need something.  

I'll need peace of mind, heart and soul mostly.  There isn't anything out there that I can hold which gives me each of those things.  

I drive or walk to gain perspective on life when they weight me down.  They, as in when my mind heart and soul are stirring.  As I walk, I pay close attention to every little detail that lays ahead.  The things behind me?  I tend to try and forget.  Those are best where they lay.

I see ahead of me the leaves on trees that bloomed after a long winters nap, with the harshest of bitter cold, wind blowing through the branches without an ounce of protection.  I see the grass, growing, reaching towards the warmth of the sun.  I'll smell the flowers that have bloomed, I hear the songs each bird sings and feel the freedom of the breeze blow on my face.  With all this, I gain perspective for my mind, heart and soul so I can rest my body at the end of every day.  So I can love each thing that I have, no matter how small.  I learn to walk towards something better and let what lays behind me where it belongs.  

Take a moment to look up, forward and beyond what you know.  Take a long, deep breath of fresh air and live in this very moment.

Be the one loving

Funny how life's experiences can shape how we act to others, at times open like a floating butterfly, and at other times, closed off with walls that are are unbreakable.  Most times, we do the latter as a protection mode, not only for ourselves but truthfully, we believe for others.  
What causes you to close off?  What, helps others peel the layers away?  

Look at the list of items and then, ask "why".  

What exactly do you have to lose?  If the reaction of another isn't what you want, perhaps it's what you need to hear or see.  Perhaps, when you open up, you find something more than you anticipate?  

Someone told me a few years back, that it truly is okay to let people know you love them.  Even if it's for a moment.  Love their actions, love their smiles, love their joy.  Loving someone is accepting them for who they are, flaws and all.  It is okay to admit it and it's even better to give it.  The most wonderful feeling is receiving it.  

Be the one loving.  Be the one accepting.  Be the one admitting it.

Living life

Over the past 9 months, my life has changed tremendously.  A choice made to better our lives, now having more than I've had in 20 years and it has nothing to do with things or where we live.  

I did live in a beautiful home, located on a street that many believe would be priceless.  The view, our neighbours.  We seemed to have an abundance of things that suited us when and where we wanted it, waste what we didn't and take for granted what we truly needed.  I can say I became guilty of this.  

Then I woke up.  

I started to change a few years back.  I looked at myself, my boys and wondered; what was true happiness?  Giving up what I wanted, I took the step to live in the present, the now.   

Writing here, getting back into volunteering, just simply "being".  My eyes opened.  Looking back at who I was leaving behind (my old self) I was stunned.  I was tired of trying to be who I wasn't.  

I walked away in November of 2015, terrified and without self faith. 

Now?

I have a single income that is just paying the bills.  I am doing the best possible job while being creative with what I have to provide.  Trust me, at times I can feel my heart throb through my chest, my breaths get shallow and emotions rise from the base of my gut, traveling through my throat.  (this is a tough one to admit)

After that though?  I am living.  Mum taught me the most important things in life are a roof, food and clothing.  We have those, along with many other things that, now in my life I can't be more grateful for.  I am living life with my eyes wide open and couldn't be happier.  

Do yourself a favour.  Take a peek back at what is going on in your life.  I'm not suggesting walking away from everything, simply open up your eyes.  What single thing, at this present moment do you take for granted?  

If you are misguided by all the labels and media telling you what to do, watch, see and be then open your eyes and give your head a clean shake.  Take a walk, look at the clouds and be present.  Stop letting that feeling from the bottom of your gut control your actions (by the way, it's called fear) and start living.  

You aren't going to miss out on something if you are living life, you are creating something by living life.  Personally, I'd rather live a life with eyes wide open, creating something that makes happiness rather than living a life being controlled by another.