This life: Take your moment in life to breathe

This life: Take your moment in life to breathe: In the process of living life, we tend to lose sight of ourselves.  I tend to talk about personal matters as I know, you and I... we are t...

Take your moment in life to breathe

In the process of living life, we tend to lose sight of ourselves. 


I tend to talk about personal matters as I know, you and I... we are the same.  Struggles, happiness and life events. 


I've noticed that each day goes a bit quicker, the weeks fall upon themselves into each month and before I know it, another year has passed.  I wonder, like you, where did time go?


We have become an overly focused society.  Focused on goals, objectives and constantly running from our fears.  They can be ones that reflect our childhood or situations we may be in. 


Regardless, it certainly makes our lives fly by quicker than we anticipate.


It's Friday afternoon for me and I've noticed that February came and went in what feels like a wink. 


Let's reminder ourselves to slow down. 


Take a moment to breathe.

Irony

I fear that one day, my time here... as a mum, needed to do what I love doing most will no longer be needed.  

I am so completely in love with my children, no matter what age they are and who they’ve become.  

I remember Michael learning to ride his bike.  He was taken over to the park and they did their best.  Then after he returned home with grass stains on his knees, scrapes on the palm of his hands and a few days of recovery, we practised alone in a parking lot.  I’d run behind him, holding onto his seat reaffirming I would not let go.  I didn’t.  

Until he said to.  

It was bitter sweet.  I wanted to see him do this.  On his own.  I didn’t want to let go though.  

He’s now 24 and when he told me he was moving out, I didn’t cry.  I was happy he did it on his own.  There were no fights, no angry words.  He was ready.  

I miss him every minute of every day.  Although we are minutes away from each other, I don’t want to pry.  I don’t want to be an over doting mother.  

I do want him to know, I’ll always be here for him.  I’ll still catch him.  I’ll never really let go.

Stop teaching others to follow a leader, teach how to be a leader

I love reading others comments, posts and tweets about how to inspire, what others have done and where change is needed.  I’ll join the next cheer team, as long as I believe in the cause.  I want my children to be and do the same.  I can’t force them, they have to want it.

Let me begin with the simple fact that you may already know.  My boys are my life.  Every moment they live, I live more.  My greatest joys in life have been through their experiences, their life, their victories.  

I do want to be an example so I do my best to show that what they can become, is bigger than they know. If you are a parent, you know very well that you cannot force a child to become something they don’t want.  They have to want it.  

So, each day I talk to my youngest about opportunities and how.  (I use to do the same with Michael my oldest but he’s moved out so the opportunity isn’t the same but I still sneak it in when I can - insert soft smile)  

Last week, my youngest was talking about youtube video on some celebrities doing something that made him laugh.  I mean, gut busting laugh.  He showed me and to my surprise, I laughed as much.  

We talked about how this action could be used to benefit others.  He started to ask me questions about doing an event, it went to doing a fundraiser, then he started to brain storm with me.  What an amazing moment we had!  It escalated into him asking me the how’s, who’s and what’s.  I spoke to him about awareness, objectives and goals.  Without him knowing, he just planned a fundraising event in my car within 20 minutes.  

I laughed, not at him but at his ability to put it together.  He was excited and ... I hope this comes to fruition.  

Well, you’ll see.  I don’t want to spoil anything.

All I have to say to those other inspiring folks out there... 

Don’t follow the leader, be the leader!

The good, the bad & the ugly

It’s been awhile since I wrote last.  Some days, I wished I had my computer closer to me so I could put my thoughts down but time hasn’t permitted such a gift.  This is okay, I’m here now, about to toss my words on this page, like a bag of raked up leaves to the wind.  

I catch myself reflecting on the moment that passed.  Some has given me pride, some laughter, some moments shame and at times, I find myself ready to crumble.  I too, am human.  

Just like you.

What pulls me though the tougher moments are the good things.  I do allow the small pockets of fear creep up but what’s stronger that fear for me?  The good stuff.

How?  

Well, fear of the unknown can control most of my thoughts so I have to chase that out and believe it will work out.  

So far, nothing I’ve planned has worked out exactly.  What did happen?  

Life.  

That’s the beauty of letting go.  Life happens.  No matter what, you will survive.  You will over come.  

The bad? 

When I was 18, a new mum, a new young wife I was in shock.  This wasn’t what I thought life would be.  5 years later, I was surprised that I was entering a new chapter in this journey.  I had no clue and I disliked having to trust others.  I lost faith in myself.  

Facts:  When we fail, we blame others.  

Reality: We usually need to accept part of the blame with our own mistakes.

Truth: When we start to accept our failures, we become stronger and better, but not until then.  

 What made me proud this past few months? 

My older son registering for his final class to become a Red Seal Chef.  

My younger son discovering who he is becoming.

What made me feel down?

Standing up for my belief’s but putting myself in a bad position.  

tisk, tisk.  

I wouldn’t stand for someone telling me that because I am a woman, I would be treated differently.  Not the entire event needs to be told but the enter conversation was about differences of opinion. This man tried his best to put me in my place, trying to make me feel small.  I suppose in height, I am smaller than him.  

The part I enjoyed the most?  Standing my ground.  

The ugly?  Showing that I lost myself in the conversation and letting it turn into something I am not.  

I suppose we are not always given a choice in battles but we are given a choice on how we deal with them.  Can I change that man’s opinion?  I’m guessing not with the reaction we both had.  


Next time, I’ll be wiser.  

Next time, I’ll listen with the intent to listen, not the intent to argue.  

How to truly enjoy the moment in life when it counts

It’s been a long time coming.  I knew what I wanted for my birthday isn’t material.    

I just couldn’t put a finger on it.  

Things are simply, things.  

Honestly, if I wanted to try something different in life (such as the biggest at the moment, which is to try skydiving - not recommended in the winter here in Canada) but I can just save the funds and do it.  Why haven’t I?  Before I go out and spend money I ask myself these questions.

Do I need it?

How will it make a difference in my life today?

Well sure, skydiving.. it’s a thrill for some, would be for me at least.  I don’t need it though.  I just want to try it.  

I don’t need clothing, I have no holes. 

(My poor attempt to some humour)

I guess it didn’t take much to figure it out as I know when I am happiest.  When I am doing things for others.  To see a smile on someone else’s face because of something I did?  

Best 

gift 

ever

The other part to this?  I came home today.  My son built a box for another persons birthday.  His school is teaching him philanthropy.  Not that he doesn’t get this at home, it’s become a type of religion.  

So he asked me, “mum, where is the closest food bank”?  

ha .. I love this kid.  He makes my heart hurt, in a good way of course.  

So, Tuesday on my actual birthday I’ve decided to take the day off.  

I’m heading with some beautiful souls from work to the local Ronald McDonald house to serve Taco’s for dinner.  Well, I’ll help with it.  I plan on giving away some great memories, lots of laughter and without telling anyone there, enjoy the best birthday of my life.  

Shortly after dinner, I’ll be heading to enjoy an evening with some fantastic parents while watching Jr.’s hockey game.  Full of smiles, intending to spread the joy.  

When I finally discovered the way to acknowledge the emotions

Most of us hold on to grief for a very long time.  Now I know for a fact, there isn’t a book out there that is on how long one should.  There is not one right answer for anyone.  

That being said, when we face grief, it’s not always about someone passing away.  It’s about losing something that has been important in our lives.  When "it" happens, whatever “it” is, we try to diminish how we feel by telling ourselves, “it can be worse”.  

No one ever tells us that yes, it’s okay to accept how we feel and live in that moment with grief without diminishing what it is.  For me, I started to see this at an early age.  

It was 1987, I was just starting high school.  One of my abusers had been in a relationship with a girl who had just discovered she was pregnant.  My flashbacks started and I spoke to someone for the first time about what happened.  within a year, I went to file a report with the police.  

I never allowed myself as a young woman to own my feelings.  I felt that no matter what, my feelings didn’t change the outcome.  I did however, let the fact that I wasn’t facing them start to let me become an angry person.  I didn’t know then it was how I was trying to deal with it, that it controlled my emotions.  

After the bridge was crossed, I started to let go of the anger and change the path I was on.  I let the grief happen and before I knew it, I was starting to feel stronger, less angry and I started to let go.  

When you are finding yourself in a journey that requires grief to be acknowledged, don’t let it go.  Don’t dismiss it.  Let it happen.  Allow yourself to go there, then allow yourself to heal.  It’s going to be okay, I promise.

A path paved with good intentions does not always lead to hell

I am a glass half full, rose wearing specks hockey mum.  I am a help the odd man up, cheer the odd man on kinda gal.  No matter the amount of losses, you’ll hear me in the crowds all the time cheering you on.  

I certainly don't expect the same in return but many times, I feel kicked to the curb by good intentions misunderstood.  This week more so than ever.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m simply pointing out that, I am human too.  I’m quite sure you already knew that but ... sometimes I can be misread.  

Life happens.  No matter the outcome of someone’s words that made them look much uglier than I ever imagined, I plan on heading back onto the path and showing, that no only do I have good intentions, I will follow through.  

Why?  I’ve been there, I know it hurts your dumb ass to fall down but I also know it feels amazing to eat humble pie and get back up. 

On that note, I need a good nights rest. 

Don’t forget to NOT give up.  

"L'enfer est plein de bonnes volontés ou désirs.”

Simple moments of happiness

The house is as quiet as possible with a bit of music playing in the back ground and I have a warm plate of freshly baked banana bread at my side.  

Small bites at a time do more than fill my belly, they feed my soul.  

As I blended the flour with other necessary ingredients, I recall the times standing beside my grandmother or mum as a young girl laughing and baking.  The smell brings the memories flooding back, of discussions and debates.  Both my mum and grandmother have been women of strength.  Showing much needed compassion and the ability to show others how strength is defined.  

I’ll never forgot those moments.  More so when I stand at the kitchen counter, with a bit of flour on my apron, waiting for the milk to sour so I can complete this small baking task I use to share with the women in my life who helped define me.  

As simple as this act is to others, it’s a way I honour both of them daily.  

What are the simple happy moments for you?

Your mental positive exercise for today

Here’s an exercise for your mind.  

When you’ve faced adversity, what have you gained?  

I know it can be a hard one to wrap your head around when the thing that could have torn you down and possibly broken you that is something you gained from.  

An example I’ll share.

My first marriage.  I was 18 years of age and although I thought the dream of escaping one life into another was the answer to the problems I was trying to fix, it wasn't.  

I turned 18 in February, became pregnant in April, married in October then gave birth to my first in December.  The following year in December I was a single mum.  We were both young.  It was the most emotional year of my life and the most educational. 

During that time, I had the happiest moment and of course, the saddest.  

Looking back now, I know why.  

I learnt that running from one problem into another, won’t solve anything.  That no one, not a knight in shinning armour will fix things, that it’s up to you and only you.  Facing your fears may be hard but running from them is (in the long term) is harder.

All this being said, many years later I am a much different woman.  I have regrets on how I tried to solve the issues, taking it out on those who were ultimately wanting to help me.  That being said, I have more positives from this time than negatives.

So, for a few moments and reflect on those tough moments in your life.  Take it step by step in your mind and try to see where it’s lead you in life.  Have you improved?  Has your thought process changed?  Has your actions in life changed?  

If you are like me, they have.  For the better.