The good, the bad & the ugly

It’s been awhile since I wrote last.  Some days, I wished I had my computer closer to me so I could put my thoughts down but time hasn’t permitted such a gift.  This is okay, I’m here now, about to toss my words on this page, like a bag of raked up leaves to the wind.  

I catch myself reflecting on the moment that passed.  Some has given me pride, some laughter, some moments shame and at times, I find myself ready to crumble.  I too, am human.  

Just like you.

What pulls me though the tougher moments are the good things.  I do allow the small pockets of fear creep up but what’s stronger that fear for me?  The good stuff.

How?  

Well, fear of the unknown can control most of my thoughts so I have to chase that out and believe it will work out.  

So far, nothing I’ve planned has worked out exactly.  What did happen?  

Life.  

That’s the beauty of letting go.  Life happens.  No matter what, you will survive.  You will over come.  

The bad? 

When I was 18, a new mum, a new young wife I was in shock.  This wasn’t what I thought life would be.  5 years later, I was surprised that I was entering a new chapter in this journey.  I had no clue and I disliked having to trust others.  I lost faith in myself.  

Facts:  When we fail, we blame others.  

Reality: We usually need to accept part of the blame with our own mistakes.

Truth: When we start to accept our failures, we become stronger and better, but not until then.  

 What made me proud this past few months? 

My older son registering for his final class to become a Red Seal Chef.  

My younger son discovering who he is becoming.

What made me feel down?

Standing up for my belief’s but putting myself in a bad position.  

tisk, tisk.  

I wouldn’t stand for someone telling me that because I am a woman, I would be treated differently.  Not the entire event needs to be told but the enter conversation was about differences of opinion. This man tried his best to put me in my place, trying to make me feel small.  I suppose in height, I am smaller than him.  

The part I enjoyed the most?  Standing my ground.  

The ugly?  Showing that I lost myself in the conversation and letting it turn into something I am not.  

I suppose we are not always given a choice in battles but we are given a choice on how we deal with them.  Can I change that man’s opinion?  I’m guessing not with the reaction we both had.  


Next time, I’ll be wiser.  

Next time, I’ll listen with the intent to listen, not the intent to argue.