When I finally discovered the way to acknowledge the emotions

Most of us hold on to grief for a very long time.  Now I know for a fact, there isn’t a book out there that is on how long one should.  There is not one right answer for anyone.  

That being said, when we face grief, it’s not always about someone passing away.  It’s about losing something that has been important in our lives.  When "it" happens, whatever “it” is, we try to diminish how we feel by telling ourselves, “it can be worse”.  

No one ever tells us that yes, it’s okay to accept how we feel and live in that moment with grief without diminishing what it is.  For me, I started to see this at an early age.  

It was 1987, I was just starting high school.  One of my abusers had been in a relationship with a girl who had just discovered she was pregnant.  My flashbacks started and I spoke to someone for the first time about what happened.  within a year, I went to file a report with the police.  

I never allowed myself as a young woman to own my feelings.  I felt that no matter what, my feelings didn’t change the outcome.  I did however, let the fact that I wasn’t facing them start to let me become an angry person.  I didn’t know then it was how I was trying to deal with it, that it controlled my emotions.  

After the bridge was crossed, I started to let go of the anger and change the path I was on.  I let the grief happen and before I knew it, I was starting to feel stronger, less angry and I started to let go.  

When you are finding yourself in a journey that requires grief to be acknowledged, don’t let it go.  Don’t dismiss it.  Let it happen.  Allow yourself to go there, then allow yourself to heal.  It’s going to be okay, I promise.