Love over hate

Often, I'll speak about reflecting on you but today, I want you to take a moment for someone else.  

Those that are closest to you, sometimes need your love and reassurance.  Sometimes, the simple act of your kindness goes a long way.  

Today, before you lay your head down and close your eyes, I want you to take a moment to be grateful for others in your life.  Take a moment to let them know and be patient with them.  If they are hurt, listen.  If they are angry, stop.  

I've seen these emotions come forward and hurt many others just by reaction.  Let things be and breathe.  If not for you, then for someone else who needs you more.  

Love goes much further than you know.

Finding your greatness

Often, conversations I have with others lead to purpose and meaning.  

We all need to find value in ourselves, feel the connection with another, so that they too, see our value.  Most of us, want to see our lives come to fruition, doing something that is beyond our sights, succeeding and mostly, finding peace within our selves.

It has to start with what’s in side.  You may have demons in which you battle, ones that carve your faith down, your self belief.  These may have been planted like a seed within your heart and mind and they will more than likely play a role in how you react, deal with and come out of situations you have no control over.  

There are also angels inside.  The ones in which your soul and heart feed from.  They will try their best to sweep other thoughts away, they will help encourage you, build you up and lighten the way out of whatever you are battling.  

It’s up to you, to build your greatness.  In order to do so, to be great in life, you have to start with being grateful.  

You don’t have to believe in anything other than yourself.  Now go, step in front of a mirror and tell the person you see, they are worth the value to invest in.  Tell that person they are good enough to take a step forward, and finally, tell that person to be grateful for this moment.

The less you have the more you can give

I've tried to write a few times this past week and found that the direction it was taking wasn't the way I wanted to see what I put out.  

So I just dove into life, living it, watching and listening.  Over the past few weeks, I've seen some amazing things happen, yesterday though taught me a lesson.

At the end of the day, I had a large coffee carafe to carry from work to my car.  Although it wasn't too heavy, it was large enough to be a wee bit difficult.  Being the capable woman I am, I choose to carry it on my own for that block.  

Standing on the corner, waiting for the light to change two young, healthy men stood beside me.  Minding their own business.  The light changed and I proceeded to walk with this large item, stumbling but not dropping it, another man to my far right started to yell at me.  I turned my head while walking to see what was going on.  

"LADY, LET ME HELP YOU"

I giggled.. he was a bit shorter than me and was kind enough to offer.  I declined and thanked him politely.  The other two healthy young men, walked on their way not looking back.  I didn't think anything further.  

This coffee carafe had to be delivered back to the shop that provided it.  After loading it in my car, I proceeded to the store.  Parking a bit closer to the door than I would usually, I went to the back where I stored it and grabbed it out from my car with a hefty thrust.  No problem I thought.. almost done.  

As I approached the door, a man who was asking people for change to buy food, stepped in front of me.  He reached over .. and offered a hand.  As my hands were full, my heart was fuller with gratitude.  I thanked him and he followed me inside.  We chatted while in line.  He told me a bit about his life and he looked at me, smiled and said, "Thank you for saying thanks and .. thanks for listening to me".  I was taken back.  Here, this man had not a thing to offer but a hand.  

This just clarifies to me that those who have nothing are willing to give what they can and those who have everything cannot see past the clutter in their own lives to reach out to do the same.  

I go daily with gratitude.  With love.  

Some say I live with rose colored glasses, too naive to be safe, so daft that anyone could take advantage and it will be my downfall.  

I say, if it is then I've lived a good life.  I'm a pretty smart woman.  I see things for what they are good or bad and I accept it.  I hope you can too.  

Having faith

In a world that was filled with darkness and fear, I found myself in the brightest of lights, conquering my biggest doubts without being aware, being alone. 

Pulling from the quote by Martin Luther King, "Faith is when you take the first step even when you don't see the staircase." 

I gained faith after taking that first step.

A reference for myself back a few years ago when I left a life I could not longer be part of.  My thoughts, dreams, values and priorities were not in line and it was slowly killing me.  I had tried, on several occasions to resolve the issues and came face to face with deeper ones I had no control over.

While in the midst of doing this, I discovered who I was, more so, who I was becoming.  

Before I left, I acknowledged feeling lonely while surrounded by others.  This not only hurt my soul, it in fact, almost devastated it.  However, after leaving and being separated from everyone, I learnt about the power to believe in myself and no longer felt alone even if I was. 

I gained strength by facing it head on.

Know that your journey at this moment may seem insurmountable and an unwise path, however, when you look back, the lessons you learnt will be invaluable.  Keep your tool chest open to the opportunities that will help you build so that the next challenge you face, you will be better prepared, your tool box fuller and the confidence from the past that you've done it with the faith in yourself you are strong enough to do it again.

Remember, being alone and feeling lonely are two different things. 

"The path we walk is unknown until we look back to see how far we've come."

The KISS principle

KISS - Keep it simple silly

After 46 years of life, I've found the KISS principle something that life should be centered around.  It's most recently been referred to as minimalism however, this reference is more towards items in our lives than just relationships.  What I want to talk about today is just that.  

Relationships. 

Take a moment to step back and start fresh, like a blank sheet you are given a fresh set of markers to remap what is good for you.  When you do this, I want you to apply the KISS principle.  

Draw yourself.  Describe what you hold important, NOT what you think others should see you as but what is important to you and relationships.  Here is an example;

Honestly, Integrity, Courage

Positive reinforcement, Healthy choices

Now take a look at what's going on in your life.  What causes you stress?  Is it financial, is it relationships, is it work?  Then ask, is it worth it?  Do you feel valued, were the decisions you made the thoughts that keep you up at night?  

Cut out all of what gives your heart ache.  Make a choice to KISS it away.  Don't put the pressure on something, someone or even yourself right now to have more, do more, make more.  Life is so extremely short and we are NOT given the chance to choose when it is done for us.  Do NOT give into the feelings that aren't about you, the feelings that do not make you happy and that rob you of the most valuable commodity, time.   

I sit here, lucky to have been surrounded by some amazing people, breathtaking opportunities and second chances.  I refuse to allow negative energy in our lives.  I will do my best not to give that most valued commodity away when I'd rather be living a happy life.  

Stop giving what you have to everyone else and start loving yourself first.  Trust me when I tell you that everything will fall into place when it's time.  Just keep it simple silly.

All my love to you..

How to apologize

I've been struggling on how to write this as it's been in my head and heart for a wee bit.

Something that "Canadians" do frequently, tossing the word around without thinking of the meaning, feeling that it makes all our indiscretions acceptable.  

It doesn't.

Hell, let's not make this about a nation and be honest.  

Saying "I'm sorry" doesn't make things alright..no matter where you are from.

It won't absolve you nor will it turn back time to before things happened.

There are two areas I want to cover on this.

Apologizing and accepting an apology.

When you do something that clearly hurts another, apologize.  Make things right by being EXACT.

"I'm sorry I said that." or  "I'm sorry I did this."

BE sincere and exact.  Pin point what you know is true, and be accountable.  Own your error, make good on your apology and change to be a better person.  Not just for the other person, for you. 

When someone chooses to do something that hurts you and they reach out to apologize, accept it.  

HOWEVER,

Learn how to accept it.  You won't move forward without this.  I promise. 

Saying, "It's okay" when responding to an apology doesn't help the other person.  In fact, it makes the behaviour okay and they will be more likely to repeat it.  

Tell them why you are hurt, let them know you've accepted their apology and close the door by simply acknowledging it and saying "thank you"  

If you want to know that I've done this..

Yes I have.

I've apologized to my kids, my friends and family.  

I've said to them directly that I was sorry for an action or reaction.  I've held their hands, looked into their eyes and said those words. (when possible)  I've also asked them for forgiveness and expressed that it wouldn't happen again.  

What I've wanted is that we learn to be stronger, better people.  To learn how to move forward from an error, to learn from them and to accept them.  After all, we are all human..

Aren't we?

Take time to get to the peak and then..

No matter the challenges that we face daily, perspective will help gage the hard moments in life.

Life's paths that have tossed me are the ones I've either tried to climb or given up.  When I'm doubting I come to a fork in the path.  

Do I left fear take over, freeze me in my path and stop me from moving forward?

or..

Do I pull up my socks and walk further up the path to the peak of the mountain.

Listen to me..

I've faced the tough times, in court as a young lady to those who have taken time from me, I've spoken my truth to those who thought they could bully me trying their best to dictate who I should be and not accept me for who I am.  I've hit the restart button on life, while rebuilding my faith completely blind.  

What I've not done?  

I've not given up.  Life is short.  

Live it, love it.  

No matter what is going on, when you are ready to walk past that moment, when you are willing to face your fears.  When you look back..

You'll see this.
Now, get some rest and when the doubt starts to set in..  Look back and see what you've done and take a deep breath.  The journey may take away your breath at times but you'll be stronger because of it.  

How to make change

As I grow older, looking back I see the opportunities I chose to take and the ones I didn't.  Some regrettably.  However, it has passed and I've learnt to move forward with my best foot, trying always, to be positive.  

If I could tell my former self things, this is what I'd say.

Try.  

If it's not succeeding, ask for help.

Push.  

Limits, boundaries and mostly, yourself.  Don't back down in something you believe in.  These are your core values, your inner strength and your intuition.  These are keys to survival.  If you see something wrong, try and make it right.

Speak.

Your voice is louder than you know, you are smarter than you know and you are capable.  Speak your truth.

Rise.  

Above anger, hurt and resentment.  Become one.  

Never forget that..

Small ripples in the water, are able to become waves that wash upon a shore and change the landscape one at a time.  

Finding your tribe

With a large life change, I've found out which tribe I belong to.  

Let me explain.

Through good times and rough ones, the tribe you belong to is the one who can tell you exactly how it is, knowing you'll hang around and listen.  Those know you best will feel safe to tell you the straight truth.  Why?  They know you trust them.  

Other opportunities to find more about your tribe are good ones.  They will lift you, encourage you, challenge you and love you unconditionally, without expectation.

It's not hard to weed the "other" ones out.  

Look at their motives.  

Do they always ask, hand out looking for a benefit for just themselves?  Do they whisper doubts in your ear or whisper negative things about you to others?  Do they tell you that you can't, won't and shouldn't?  Those are the ones you stop at your front door and deny entry into your life.  

I've discovered my tribe through peaks and valleys.  I love my tribe and have this unconditional, undying love for them.  Even if, at times they don't understand me, they love me the same in return.  

The upper side of grass

I enjoy reading and reflecting after life experiences so I can get the most from each moment.  Ranging from personal doubts to life altering decisions, taking the best from each situation and sitting back to see their results is something I've learnt to do with a great deal of patience.  

I hold the below values close to my heart to help guide me ..
Taking a step back to reevaluate life and trying my best to use those fundamentals but knowing at times, like everyone else, I most likely will falter.  

• Acceptance: having an objective attitude toward other’s ideas and practices that differ from my own (Doing this teaches me humanity)
• Compassion: understanding the suffering of others or self and wanting to do something about it (Teaching empathy)
• Courage: willingness to do difficult things (teaching strength)
• Generosity: willingness to give resources, help or time to others
• Integrity: sticking to your moral and ethical principles and values (This can be one of the most difficult things you'll do in life!)
• Kindness: being considerate and treating others well
• Respect: showing consideration for the worth of someone or something (Including the value of one's self)
• Responsibility: being reliable in your obligations (Being accountable.

I am fallible but am okay with it.  

I am the only one who can hold myself accountable for all of my choices, the only one who will live with them until I physically leave and the only one who will have to answer for them.  I will strive daily to challenge myself to be a better person.  Far from perfect, I will strive to be better than the day before.  

I hope, that like you, I become a better person every day I'm granted on the upper side of grass.