Take time to get to the peak and then..

No matter the challenges that we face daily, perspective will help gage the hard moments in life.

Life's paths that have tossed me are the ones I've either tried to climb or given up.  When I'm doubting I come to a fork in the path.  

Do I left fear take over, freeze me in my path and stop me from moving forward?

or..

Do I pull up my socks and walk further up the path to the peak of the mountain.

Listen to me..

I've faced the tough times, in court as a young lady to those who have taken time from me, I've spoken my truth to those who thought they could bully me trying their best to dictate who I should be and not accept me for who I am.  I've hit the restart button on life, while rebuilding my faith completely blind.  

What I've not done?  

I've not given up.  Life is short.  

Live it, love it.  

No matter what is going on, when you are ready to walk past that moment, when you are willing to face your fears.  When you look back..

You'll see this.
Now, get some rest and when the doubt starts to set in..  Look back and see what you've done and take a deep breath.  The journey may take away your breath at times but you'll be stronger because of it.  

How to make change

As I grow older, looking back I see the opportunities I chose to take and the ones I didn't.  Some regrettably.  However, it has passed and I've learnt to move forward with my best foot, trying always, to be positive.  

If I could tell my former self things, this is what I'd say.

Try.  

If it's not succeeding, ask for help.

Push.  

Limits, boundaries and mostly, yourself.  Don't back down in something you believe in.  These are your core values, your inner strength and your intuition.  These are keys to survival.  If you see something wrong, try and make it right.

Speak.

Your voice is louder than you know, you are smarter than you know and you are capable.  Speak your truth.

Rise.  

Above anger, hurt and resentment.  Become one.  

Never forget that..

Small ripples in the water, are able to become waves that wash upon a shore and change the landscape one at a time.  

Finding your tribe

With a large life change, I've found out which tribe I belong to.  

Let me explain.

Through good times and rough ones, the tribe you belong to is the one who can tell you exactly how it is, knowing you'll hang around and listen.  Those know you best will feel safe to tell you the straight truth.  Why?  They know you trust them.  

Other opportunities to find more about your tribe are good ones.  They will lift you, encourage you, challenge you and love you unconditionally, without expectation.

It's not hard to weed the "other" ones out.  

Look at their motives.  

Do they always ask, hand out looking for a benefit for just themselves?  Do they whisper doubts in your ear or whisper negative things about you to others?  Do they tell you that you can't, won't and shouldn't?  Those are the ones you stop at your front door and deny entry into your life.  

I've discovered my tribe through peaks and valleys.  I love my tribe and have this unconditional, undying love for them.  Even if, at times they don't understand me, they love me the same in return.  

The upper side of grass

I enjoy reading and reflecting after life experiences so I can get the most from each moment.  Ranging from personal doubts to life altering decisions, taking the best from each situation and sitting back to see their results is something I've learnt to do with a great deal of patience.  

I hold the below values close to my heart to help guide me ..
Taking a step back to reevaluate life and trying my best to use those fundamentals but knowing at times, like everyone else, I most likely will falter.  

• Acceptance: having an objective attitude toward other’s ideas and practices that differ from my own (Doing this teaches me humanity)
• Compassion: understanding the suffering of others or self and wanting to do something about it (Teaching empathy)
• Courage: willingness to do difficult things (teaching strength)
• Generosity: willingness to give resources, help or time to others
• Integrity: sticking to your moral and ethical principles and values (This can be one of the most difficult things you'll do in life!)
• Kindness: being considerate and treating others well
• Respect: showing consideration for the worth of someone or something (Including the value of one's self)
• Responsibility: being reliable in your obligations (Being accountable.

I am fallible but am okay with it.  

I am the only one who can hold myself accountable for all of my choices, the only one who will live with them until I physically leave and the only one who will have to answer for them.  I will strive daily to challenge myself to be a better person.  Far from perfect, I will strive to be better than the day before.  

I hope, that like you, I become a better person every day I'm granted on the upper side of grass.

Challenge #5 - Explore and expose your emotions

I can't say that these challenges for you were something I've pre-planned but a process in which I am pulling from life, at times, in the moment.  Other times, from the past.  That being said, today's is pulled from a current moment.

I want you to open to someone about your emotions.  

The other day, while given a task I wanted to shrink into my turtle shell and leave it be.  Hoping the moment would pass.  In fact, there were several challenges I faced that day where I wanted to throw in the towel and crawl back home.  

I didn't.  

What I did do was open up to a complete stranger, letting them know I was feeling anxious.  They reached out to me and gave me the key to believe it would be okay.  In that moment, I saw compassion and empathy.  I wasn't looking for it but what did I have to lose?  I wanted them to know that due to the lack of control I was feeling, I wasn't as confident as I appeared.  I wanted them to know, that I too.. was human.  

Today, I want you to try and open up to your emotions, embrace them and if you dare, share them.  

Challenge #4 - Find your gratitude

I'll digress for a moment so you understand my gratitude.  

My 2 boys have been the biggest challenges and rewards in life thus far.  I swore, when I first became a mum I would do my personal best for them.  

After time, I felt I failed.  I became angry, tired, frustrated or down right sad with myself.  

Why?  

I wanted to do more for them, 
give more to them,
and ensure they didn't get hurt.  

Then, after some time I revisited these thoughts. 

I didn't fail.  

Sure I was emotional at times, all humans are.  More so when we don't know the answer.  

Fail though?  

I don't think so anymore.  

I couldn't do more but that taught them how to do something themselves.  
Give them everything?  Nah, that taught them they could go without.  
Ensure they didn't get hurt?  They learnt to get back up.

I am grateful for the moments that I felt I failed.  

They taught me about life.  That I never failed my boys but helped them grow.  

Someone once told me 12 years ago, 

"let kids grow like trees, they will develop strong roots, and with the ability to branch out when ready." (we call this confidence) 

Today I challenge you to change a moment where you felt you failed into a moment of gratitude.  

Challenge #3 - Do something without expectation

I've been graced in my previous life where I was given opportunities to meet talented people or participate in events.  I don't think I took it for granted, however I do know, I lived presently in those moments.

That being said, often I'd be given an opportunity with strings attached, more so there was an expectation of repayment in one form or another.  I took note of this over time and started to choose the option of "No thank you" or gifting the opportunities away to someone that I felt would appreciate the moment or opportunity.  

I went to communicate with the original gifter asking them if it was okay to use the items however I wished.  They didn't listen to my question but agreed with me assuming that I would use them myself.  

After they discovered I had passed the opportunity on to another without anything in return, financial or otherwise, they became upset with me, questioning my intention.  I simply stated that I felt "paying it forward" gave me more happiness that the actual gift itself.

My challenge for you is to try and do something without expectation of anything in return.  

You'll know, that it will bring another person joy.  It will give them a moment of peace, a bit of time to reflect and perhaps, they too, will pay it forward.

Challenge #2 - Learning to listen

In a life where we can be dictated how to be or who we are, we are also given the opportunity to break out of the box of conformity.  One way would be with ourselves, making change from past behaviours.  

The most recent is a drive by many, "#metoo"  

People are standing up to change past behaviours that were, at one time, acceptable.  I've had conversations with many men and women about this movement.  Some in support, some saying it's a band-wagon that many are using to improve their personal situation both financially or otherwise.  

I've discussed the past, women breaking out and becoming considered "People" and truthfully, between 1917 to 1940 women gained the right to vote (in Canada) and then in 1929 under Canadian law, women were considered "people".  I am quite sure that there were many who thought this "movement" back then was unnecessary and perhaps mad.

I'd say to try and get out there to make a difference in this world, in this life with a positive attitude but truthfully, I want you to know that making a difference is simply opening up your mind and accepting difference in others, creating a moment in your life to learn something new.  

Today's challenge..

Listen to another to hear them and learn, don't listen to speak.