How to make change

Okay, I'll start off with a confession.  I don't know it all.  I'm not a professional writer nor have I ever professed to be.  I only speak on my life experiences and trust me, I'll share as many with you as I'm comfortable with, mostly will be positive ones.  

So you've clicked on this link to find out how to make change?  I may digress today but I'll do my best to get back on track.

I use to watch my mum and grandmum do things without expecting anything in return.  Mum would be there for kids when she could.  I'm not saying she was perfect but she did the best she was able to.  Gram, well I feel I talk about her more often.  She volunteered, helped her family and laughed.  Lots.  I saw these 2 very strong women do more than I've seen others in my entire live.  

That changed me.  

Step 1. Lead by example.  If you don't like what you see in the mirror, start daily with small challenges.  

I've learnt to listen to others.  I may not appear to be listening but trust me, I am.  I hear how other lives are different than my own.  Better or worse, they give me insight which in turn, teaches me compassion.  

Step 2.  Listen.  Before you let a word escape your lips, listen to them entirely.  

Mum use to tell me, "No one can love you until you love and accept yourself."  I thought this was a goofy statement.  Almost narcissistic but she was right.  Believing in yourself is a key to your strength.  Many of us forget to allow ourselves to be happy with our choices.  

Step 3.  Believe in yourself.  Charity begins at home and that includes you.  

When I was 12, I wanted to work but couldn't so mum got me into volunteering.  She told me it will help build my resume.  She was not only right but it helped me in step 3.  I started to do things that made me feel good.  I also received some amazing lessons and free education while volunteering.

Step 4.   Start volunteering.  You'll gain compassion, understanding and a boat load of great references for your life.  This won't just apply to jobs but to how you view yourself.

I could go on but for now, these first steps will help you along your path on how you can make changes.  We see too many harsh truths in the world with all this social media but we can make a difference with starting to make change.  See the change, become the change you want to see in this world.

Finding a better you

Mum always told me to stick it out.  What did she know, right?  

Her first big lesson for me was "Volunteer my darling, you will learn so much and it looks great on a resume".  Little did she know where it would take me.  43 years later, I love doing it.  More so than actually working a paid job.  I've met the most amazing people, learnt how things happen behind the scenes but mostly, compassion.  

I've been extremely lucky to be able to start a volunteer committee at work where we get the opportunity to go out as a group once a month and do something.  To me, it's more like that saying; "Be the change you wish to see" and that's what we are becoming.  

I find local non for profits that are in need of volunteers and then send out an email to those who are interested.  Anyone can sign up and be involved.  There isn't a commitment for each event, just do what you can.  

We've served dinners, assisted in races & walks, sold 50/50 tickets at the Oilers games, collected food for the food bank, donated blood, at concerts selling t-shirts and many other opportunities.  

It's built a stronger foundation at work, I see those I've been with and we now have a connection where there was none before.  I have compassion for the ones I'm trying to help & I have a bit more understanding of who I am, who I am becoming and I like it.  

Let the kids teach

As a parent, we all want the best for our kids.  Not just the clothing on their backs or a trip but good to honest things that make a difference in their lives.  Education, food, shelter.  We teach them to be the best at what we know but when did you give them the opportunity to teach you the best of what they know?  

What do they know?

Something we've forgotten.  

They know abandon & laughter.  Because they have no idea on restrictions, their thought process can be limitless.  

Let your kids teach you something.  Stop thinking that even if you've spent more time here on earth, you know better or more.  That simply isn't the truth.  A young person's perspective is something we've let go or lost.  The greatest part about the moment you choose to let a young person teach you is the confidence you just gave them when you sat and listened.  

Do it, be it.

This morning when you woke up, were you able to do something more than another?  To see, to hear, to walk to feel, to touch?  

Take a moment out of your day in the next 24 hours and see something beautiful, hear something amazing, walk to something breathtaking, feel something heartwarming, touch something wonderful.  Stop seeing the world you live in has harsh as you might believe and make a change.  Be the change. 

Give a hug, smile at someone, show a stranger they are more than just another person, a number.  Show them you care enough to treat them as you want to be treated.  Be the change.

Being kind will not cost you a penny, will not haunt your conscience, will not harm a soul.  

Ink to paper

Each day I want to put words here, as if ink to paper I have thoughts that run through my head.  I'll admit sometimes they are words to myself.  Encouragement I need to hear, fears I have and dreams I want to share. 

I know you are the same as I am.  We all need that positive little voice to smack the dickens out of the one that tells us otherwise.  You will doubt yourself along this journey but it will be okay.

I'll telling you this, not myself.  I'll share that I've learnt it WILL be okay.  Life happens, it may be tough at times but it will be just fine.  Trust in yourself, no matter what someone else said.  Believe in your heart, your eyes and mostly, your mind.  

No matter your size, your shape you are beautiful.

No matter your education, you are smart.

No matter what you did 10 years ago, you are kind.

No matter what they told you, you are important.

Each day, take a moment and write something you love about yourself.  Repeat it.  Look at your reflection in the mirror and say it out loud  Take ink to paper and write it over and over again until it is in you, until it is part of you.  Know that you are stronger than you thought.  

Small things

At this very moment you need to know that it will pass and the only way it will come back is if you allow it.  Regardless of what the moment is bringing you, joy or sorrow it's yours. 

Take it for what it is.  Celebrate the great small things that happen in your life, embrace it.  If it's a tough one, you'll be fine.  You'll make it through it.  You are stronger than you know, braver, smarter, thinner, taller and more beautiful.  Stop wishing for more and start loving what you have.  From your toes to your nose, you are perfect.  

Take the small moments that put a wrinkle at the end of your eyes and remember it brought you joy, not sorrow.  That grey hair you just noticed came from life experiences, good or bad you are a bit wiser now.  Those extra few pounds?  They came from a moment where you forgot you felt insecure about your shape and ate your entire dessert.  Your unfinished nails?  They are from spending time by yourself in the garden.  That mark on your leg that is forever a scar?  It's from that time you caught your child as they were falling and fell for them instead.  

Slow down and look up.  See the sky, the clouds, the trees with their leaves, the branches that reach out, the trunk that is firmly planted in the ground, the soil that supports it.  Life is a beautiful thing and you should take in all the small things.  

My son did last weekend when he caught his first fish.  He didn't come home telling me what he read on which social media.  He told me about the other campers that set off fire works, how he drank water from the stream, how he finally learnt how to build a tent, a fire, use a fishing rod and catching a fish.  Those small moments helped build his confidence.  You can too.

His first fish

Step out of your box

This your space.  Picture a square and you are in the centre of it.  What surrounds you are the ones you love and the things that make you feel at peace.  Walking out of it scares you and you don't feel the need to leave it. 

What if, you see something outside and the desire to experience it keeps you awake at night?  You'll question each thought, doubt yourself and even convince your mind that it's not necessary.  

Today, I want you to look outside your box and find one thing that you've never done but always had it in the back of your mind to do.  Start with baby steps and try to see how to get there.  

Last weekend I did something that was out of my box.  I booked, drove and enjoyed a weekend with my younger son.  It may sound silly to some of you but it was a step that I'd never taken in my entire life.  

Here we are, my younger son and I about to head to the Rocky Mountains.  An adventure I planned solely on my own.  Granted, I got suggestions from a few friends, I booked, planned, paid and drove the distance as the one responsible.  Again, this may sound odd to some of you, however to others you know exactly what I am talking about.  Next were the things that sat in the back of my head that I wanted to experience, I had a co-pilot to help navigate, be the DJ and enjoy the ride.  The best part of it was showing him how one can do it.  Taking him through the steps, communicating and watching him do things for the first time too.  Here are some photo's of what we've done

About to climb Whistler Mountain 

Half way up

Jr. and I half way up

Enjoying our lunch at the top!

The first part of this was simply.. breathtaking.  Not a moment I'd trade for anything in this world.  Now for the next day, the Glacier Ice fields.  Not that i've not seen ice or snow, I am from Canada but, this was simply amazing.  Millions of years old, sad to see how much it's changed but perhaps, this is life.  

Jr. getting his first drink of glacier water.

My first time!

We seem so high up but in reality,
it goes further back behind him, more than the eye can see!

One of the larger streams, the glacier at a constant melt.

This does not capture the vastness of the area but you clearly get an idea.

We were in awe.  How could we not have taken this opportunity to get out and witness what we've been so close to?  I know.  I was afraid to break out of my box, my comfort zone.  I allowed my fears and doubts control my life.  Now on to one last place for our trip then the drive home.  We hit the Glacier Sky Walk.  If you've not seen anything on this, you may be wondering what I am talking about.  Basically, it's a bridge that's been built so you can look through it.  Yep, made of some strong glass and it gives you this opportunity..

        

My son took a photo of me sitting, looking down.

Among natural beauty!

A better view of how it looks from further back with Jr. in the middle.

Now looking back at the past weekend, I can honestly say I've broken out of my box, did something that not only I wanted to do, but desperately needed to do.  Not even for myself.  I proved I can, I've shown my son he can and there is more out there in life that is waiting to be discovered.  Don't hold off until tomorrow, don't listen to the doubts in your head or from others.  Find a way and do it before you start to live with regrets, should have's and could haves.  

Drawing your lines

Creating who you are is a journey in life that never happens over night.  We aren't born with determination and desire but life experiences give you this.  Some good experiences and some difficult ones.  

Don't think that for a moment this life and journey I'm in has come without moments of darkness, moments of doubt and moments of great fear.  How I've chosen to respond to them was what I could control and where I wanted to be.  

Growing up, I knew our home wasn't filled with the best of things but it was filled with laughter and plenty of love.  I loved each moment with abandon. 

Heading to the police station to write a report was one of the toughest things I did as a child but it taught me strength and endurance.  

Having a child at 18 taught me patience and love.  I grew and became second in my life, my child, first.  

The next 20+ years, the journey opened up my eyes to many other learning opportunities, some positive, some negative.  Losing family and friends along the path crushed my soul but taught me understanding and compassion.  

I started to develop my values after living life this far and until tonight when I had to write to someone, I wasn't able to put them into words.  I just knew where my lines had become, ones I wasn't willing to cross.  

Now, this life will have moments of joy, moments of happiness and all with myself knowing how far I'm willing to go and what I'm willing to share.

When you look in the mirror, what are your values?  Write them down as I did tonight.  Revise them, revisit them and draw your lines.  

Live life

Often we see statements like this "Where life takes us" and figure it's something out of our control, something we don't see before it happens.  I use to believe that before I had kids. 

During the process with my children, I started to see how the choices I made were the ones guiding this journey in life.  Then about 3 years ago, it hit me.  I know, in my 40's and it finally hits me?  I chuckle at that too.  At least it's not too late right?

Like you, I forgot how to live life.  I found my happiness and started to live it.  Not without any turbulence but you know what?  That's okay.  

Today I am about to embark on my first solo road trip as an adult and take my youngest to the Rockies.  Booking the trip itself was exhilarating.  

I want you to push yourself out of that comfort zone, to feel what I felt, to live life to love it.   We are given such little time here in this big world, with many people around us.  It is full of diversity, kindness & life is here waiting for us to take part.  Today, when you've planted your feet on the ground do something for you.  

Live life and create your direction!

I'll be posting something tonight with what I'm sure are great memories.  See you shortly!

Love always,
Nicky