I love discovering new things.. what surprises me most is when it's about myself.
Today, after doing some volunteering I walked into a shop to look at some clothing. Nothing intentional but just to look. As I was walking and looking at items, I caught a view of what I thought was a woman just across the isle. It didn't dawn on me that it was my reflection but for a brief moment, I saw someone I didn't recognise. I can't describe to you what I saw but the thoughts that followed were ..
actually okay.
We are the biggest critics of ourselves. Every day, you and I look in the mirror and think... "if I was only a bit different" in one way or another. We seem to fall into this pattern of wanting to change who we are for what we feel is for the better. The simple fact is that we need to start accepting us for who we are.
I talk about judgement, how we can pass it quickly on others but how about ourselves? Start today, this moment. Take a look at yourself in the mirror and be okay with what you see. If you have something different, it's perfect. It's unique and it's you!
Do this daily, do it in private and start with a whisper. After a week, you'll notice something different. You'll discover confidence that wasn't there. You'll discover a beautiful part of someone you didn't see before. After time, that whisper will become a roar.
I can't figure out where to start but I think I know where this journey is going.
I know for certain a few things.
Kindness is the most important. You'll discover more than expected, you'll gain compassion for others and shine like a star when you do. It's key though, to be kind to yourself. Know your limitations, boundaries and hold those close. If anything, this life will show you those when the time arrives. It's going to be okay, you'll be fine.
Secondly, listen. Hear what people are truly saying. Don't interrupt. Not because it's a bit rude but just take a deep breath and listen. You'll learn more about yourself when you start to listen. It's okay to be wrong too. When you discover that being wrong is okay, you'll learn more.
Watch. This is the third key to life. Watch things unfold around you. The actions of others will show you many things.
Life's experiences aren't always easy but each are worth the moment you've given them. The good, the bad and even... the ugly. Just remember, it's okay to love.
Hold your hands out and accept what's given to you. Remember that it's up to you and only you to make the changes you want to see.
I remember change happening as young as 5 years old. I never enjoyed it but learnt to adapt to whatever came my way.
For most of us, we fight it. Do our best to stop what we've come accustom to as it's usually the easier way in life. What we fail to see is what may be outside of our safety, outside this box life we tend to live in. Change can be good, it comes with growth both personal and professional.
Change can also tear some apart. It is not an easy hill to climb but mostly, we hope that the change we have in life leads us somewhere better not bitter.
I cannot say with certainty that making a leap of faith when you can't see the bottom is easy, it can be the scariest thing one might do.
Live your life. Adapt. Be truthful. Grow. Change.
I often wonder about how much life has changed me, my perspective and attitude. Lately through trial and error, I've seen more than what I anticipated.
As young adults, we aren't exposed to many situations, which in turn can create less empathy, strong opinions and several hesitations.
As I've aged, so have those I've said.
My empathy goes far beyond what I ever expected. I no longer hold judgement nor do I create it. What's in others lives, is just that. Others lives. It is not or has it ever been mine. I have learnt to listen and not speak, watch and not act.
I may have developed strong opinions but I no longer hold them to be the truth of it all. I'm willing to learn from others now and perhaps along the way, admit I was wrong if so.
Hesitations? Hold them or dive right in....
I do both now but at least with a bit of research.
My path is only made by the choices I've made. With time I'll discover which were the best for myself alone. I only hope that through empathy and compassion others do the same.
I don't have to ponder this word, this question for a long period of time. I see the actions daily and it has always brought a smile to my face, warmed my heart and even placed a tear on my cheek.
You cannot define this by a singular word. She makes the most amazing dish that not even your partner can duplicate, even if they were scrambled eggs. They helped you tie your shoes, let you pick out the craziest top, funniest hair cut and let you stomp your feet when you were tired.
A mum defended you to the end at times, even if you didn't see. She has kissed your bo-bo and wiped your tears away, they caught you at the bottom of the water slide almost every time and reassured you that you can do "this" every moment you doubted. She will cheer you on at your first hockey game, tie your skates until the coaches or you decided it's time to scoot out of the dressing room. She will yell the loudest in the arena, at the field or in the pool when you score, defend or cross that finish line. You and her have "words" to encourage you along your path that no one else has. You know without a doubt, she has your back at any given moment.
She may not say things at times but know to make your favourite chocolate chip cookies, hot chocolate from scratch or just sit with you under a warm blanket and make up the most amazing stories with creatures beyond this world.
When you messed up with a choice, all they did was tell you that you'll know better next time and when you came home with your first "A" on the report card, left it on the fridge for months, if not years. Know that your Mum kept every mothers day card made by scratch, hidden from view.
She is someone who will love you unconditionally through each moment. Even when you said you hated her. As a young adult, she remembered how she so badly wanted to spread her wings and fly, knowing full well you would return with a warm hug and an "I love you mum"
Deep inside every single mum is a love that knows no boundaries, limitless beyond words and actions.
I am a daughter, a mother. I've now seen it full circle and wouldn't trade a single moment for anything in this world.
It's funny as life unravels, you discover more of yourself.
Values. Not just what you believe in but what you've given up to have others believe in you.
Why is it that we surrender who we are to grasp at what we think is important. We are taught at an early age to give in and conform to those around us. What to like, dislike. Opinions on others all based on those closest to us. It's no surprise that when most of us reach adulthood, we still want to please others, do what others do and only for the acceptance of others. Not for ourselves. The lucky few that are taught to think for themselves, believe in themselves are ones that appear to be odd to the rest of us.
Perhaps, instead of slapping a preconceived label on another, before making a judgement call, just stop. What difference will it make in your life if one wears something you wouldn't? Does it really make them terrible? Nah, I don't think so.
Freedom of expression is one we take for granted. Once we stop doing at a young age and one, we truly need to grasp again.
Don't be afraid of dancing in the rain, singing in the car, being who you are. 20 years from now it won't matter.
