A path paved with good intentions does not always lead to hell

I am a glass half full, rose wearing specks hockey mum.  I am a help the odd man up, cheer the odd man on kinda gal.  No matter the amount of losses, you’ll hear me in the crowds all the time cheering you on.  

I certainly don't expect the same in return but many times, I feel kicked to the curb by good intentions misunderstood.  This week more so than ever.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m simply pointing out that, I am human too.  I’m quite sure you already knew that but ... sometimes I can be misread.  

Life happens.  No matter the outcome of someone’s words that made them look much uglier than I ever imagined, I plan on heading back onto the path and showing, that no only do I have good intentions, I will follow through.  

Why?  I’ve been there, I know it hurts your dumb ass to fall down but I also know it feels amazing to eat humble pie and get back up. 

On that note, I need a good nights rest. 

Don’t forget to NOT give up.  

"L'enfer est plein de bonnes volontés ou désirs.”

Simple moments of happiness

The house is as quiet as possible with a bit of music playing in the back ground and I have a warm plate of freshly baked banana bread at my side.  

Small bites at a time do more than fill my belly, they feed my soul.  

As I blended the flour with other necessary ingredients, I recall the times standing beside my grandmother or mum as a young girl laughing and baking.  The smell brings the memories flooding back, of discussions and debates.  Both my mum and grandmother have been women of strength.  Showing much needed compassion and the ability to show others how strength is defined.  

I’ll never forgot those moments.  More so when I stand at the kitchen counter, with a bit of flour on my apron, waiting for the milk to sour so I can complete this small baking task I use to share with the women in my life who helped define me.  

As simple as this act is to others, it’s a way I honour both of them daily.  

What are the simple happy moments for you?

Your mental positive exercise for today

Here’s an exercise for your mind.  

When you’ve faced adversity, what have you gained?  

I know it can be a hard one to wrap your head around when the thing that could have torn you down and possibly broken you that is something you gained from.  

An example I’ll share.

My first marriage.  I was 18 years of age and although I thought the dream of escaping one life into another was the answer to the problems I was trying to fix, it wasn't.  

I turned 18 in February, became pregnant in April, married in October then gave birth to my first in December.  The following year in December I was a single mum.  We were both young.  It was the most emotional year of my life and the most educational. 

During that time, I had the happiest moment and of course, the saddest.  

Looking back now, I know why.  

I learnt that running from one problem into another, won’t solve anything.  That no one, not a knight in shinning armour will fix things, that it’s up to you and only you.  Facing your fears may be hard but running from them is (in the long term) is harder.

All this being said, many years later I am a much different woman.  I have regrets on how I tried to solve the issues, taking it out on those who were ultimately wanting to help me.  That being said, I have more positives from this time than negatives.

So, for a few moments and reflect on those tough moments in your life.  Take it step by step in your mind and try to see where it’s lead you in life.  Have you improved?  Has your thought process changed?  Has your actions in life changed?  

If you are like me, they have.  For the better.  

Believe as if it was your last breath

You experienced it at a young age, your earliest memories of the act isn’t a mystery and it’s far beyond your expectations.  

Why is it so hard to find as an adult?  Now, amongst our busy days if we blink we might miss the simplicity of it all.  

The desire of this simple act is something that has been screamed for by the mute, heard by the deaf, more desired for by the rich.  Yet we disregard the simplest act of it.  

What is the one thing that we need to continue this life, the simple breath that we take to start our lives each day?

Belief. 

In yourself, the ones closest to you.

Belief that today’s changes are ones for you to take.

In someone’s good will.

In a smile, a glance, a hand, a hug.

A higher power, a better world...

Belief in a choice.

Stop for a moment and question something... When did you stop believing?  

Deep inside, you know it as well as I.

We never stopped believing.  We just let the noise outside become too loud to hear that child inside say;  

“believe"

Take a moment, just today, right now to listen to yourself.  Ask why, but most importantly, when.

Now make a choice to change from being lost, to believing something can be done, change can happen.

It starts with your first breath each morning.  You are going to survive this and you will be the change you want to see happen.  

Start with believing in yourself, as no one will until you do. 

Going to the professional league

Yep, I said it.  I don’t give a rat’s ass what everyone else things either.  

ha... if I told my child anything other what do you think would happen?  He’d coast along believing that he’s happy with what he has.  Heck, the odds?  Better than making the Olympics.  Yet if a child you know told you they were aiming for the Olympics, would you say they couldn’t?  Of course NOT!  So why crush a dream before it starts.  

Let’s face it, for any child that has a dream to make it to a professional team as a young adult, the odds are small BUT who are we to take that dream away?  

Did anyone tell you that you weren’t smart enough to graduate?  How about get that job you think is the “dream” job?  

Whatever you set your sights on in life, if someone tells you that you can’t have it, chances are you might actually believe them.  

I would hope you would actually try to prove them wrong.  

So ask me this,  am I going to tell my child they can’t become the worlds greatest Chef (my older son is working towards his Red Seal) 

... or that my child won’t make it to the NHL?  (my younger son plays hockey).

Not on your life!  

Am I going to support them with the proper education, being a good parent or setting an example of how to live a happy life?  

Your damn right I am.  

I’ll admit, some day’s I wear a mask to hide the fears I have, the burdens I carry or even my frustrations but only for a bit.  

I’ll let them know I am human, I do feel and I can recover.  

Life IS going to toss me a curve ball, I AM going to fall 

but...

I AM going to catch that ball eventually, I will get up and dust off my pants.  I WILL recover.  I WILL succeed.  

As will both of my boys.  

Life isn’t life without having to face adversity, discovering disappointment and discovering our successes.  

Learn from the past, live for the moment

I’ve been thinking about this year and about the past.  What did I accomplish and what direction my life has taken me to this point.  Mostly, where I want to be by the end of this year.  

I know that history repeats its self so what do I want to change the most?

Who am I?   Well, I’ve discovered that happiness for me isn’t about things.  It’s isn’t about me but happiness that comes from what I’ve done.  I know one thing for sure, when I’ve helped put a smile on someone else’s face I feel great.  I gain energy from doing something right.  

I’ve discovered that feeding into frustration and anger makes me feel tired.  

So, for this year I won’t only push myself to think with a more positive outlook, I’ll help others do the same.  It’s about the change I want to see in this world.  Sure, I can’t change everything but I can start with myself and I hope, it helps others.  I want to feel the good energy in life, I want to smile until my face hurts, laugh until my tummy hurts, I want to do more than last year.  

Remember, whatever you do, don’t give up.  It’s okay to stumble, it’s great to fall.  You’ll never know how to get back up unless you do.  Once you do get up, you’ll know how to do it better, you’ll be stronger and you will know how to live with compassion when you do.

Happy New Year my friends!