Your story

Recently, I've had to reflect on the journey I took in late 2015.  Although it was life changing, while I was in it, I didn't know how I could see today.  The future that is.  I had lost weight & hair in the process.  feeling like I lost control when in fact, I had done the opposite.  Doing the opposite of what I was told I could do.  I won't get into details about that but I will say, I discovered more than I anticipated.

What was it?  

I discovered myself.  My voice.  My strength.  My happiness.

Now talking with another, trying to help navigate the journey for another to take seems like a life time ago.  I am sitting on the sidelines silently cheering them on, hoping to be a source of strength and clear direction.  

I let them know that life happens and like a frog in water, boiling we do not notice the change until it's almost too late.  We adapt and accept.  While doing this, we risk loosing ourselves. 

Why do I say all this?  To encourage you to share your stories.  The simple fact that I've shared my story with a few and now I've been given the opportunity to give back.  I was shocked at my words when they came out but happier to be a source of information.  Being a source of strength.  

So, heed my words.  Share your story.  Help another find their journey to finding themselves, their voice, their strength and mostly, their happiness.  

Speaking out loud

Accountability - for choices

Acceptance - of choices

Change - the ability to make things better 

Why did those words come to mind when I was speaking today?  It happened while I was in discussion about the actions of others.  

"An action was taken by another person that we feel is wrong.  Where it may not have hurt you or caused damage but it's what they've grown up with and perhaps don't know anything else."  

I gave this example..

Growing up, a child may live with a family who sees their skin type as the only thing acceptable or a gender that is less than another.  What opinions do you think that child may form?  Remember, in their eyes, it isn't wrong.   

We become aware of our own personal truths and are accountable for them.  Accepting the change that needs to happen and finally, the last step is change.  We are all capable of making a change in our thought process but until we start with being accountable, we cannot accept change. 

I closed off the conversation with these 2 things, that I was taught as a child.

1. If you are blind or def, how can you tell what they look or sound like?
2. If we are cut, do we not bleed the same?

Changing the past starts with ourselves.  

Discovering the reasons to your chapters

Many times, I've referred to life as a journey and for the most part it is.  Better referred to as a book, each moment, is like a chapter in our personal memoir and how we choose to direct the path is in our control.  Knowing it, or should I say, being aware is the biggest part of the final destination, your epilogue. 

I write, mostly in reflection of my personal life, the experiences and what I see happening in it.  Perhaps, this has given me peace which is, the most substantial & satisfying feeling I've longed for during these past 45 years.  

I've always wondered why.  As in, why things happen, to whom and what was the purpose.  

Without knowing your journey, this chapter you are in, I cannot explain to yours to you.  I do know now, without a doubt some of my many why's.  Of course, they were not explained to me or shown during the process but after time and a lot of reflection, I see them.  

Regardless if they hurt me or not, they were lessons.  

For example, one chapter in my life story would reflect on family and the value of it.  I choose at one point to disregard any communication with my own mother.  Back when I did, it was partly due to some misinformation, disproportionate to what the truth was and partly due to myself needing clarity to the relationship I longed for.  I refused phone calls, gifts and even when she needed me, refused what was expected from me as a daughter.  

In time, I was given many gifts from this painful experience.  I recognize, more painful for my mum.  Now, years later, we do have what I longed for and perhaps what she needed from me without saying a word.  I owe my younger brother an apology as I am sure he endured most of the grief as we struggled through our time of discovery.  

For all of that, I am grateful for the gifts of time, for if I lost her before we ended that chapter, my regret and grief could have consumed me.  I am grateful for the value this has given me, the strength it taught me and the respect I have gained for her.  We've learnt how to talk, how to forgive and how to move forward, all without anger or resentment.  

What is it?

It is the sun, cresting on the horizon with the crisp morning air touching your lips and the breath of the person you share your life with while they sleep.  The sound that warms your soul when you feel lost, like a bird singing while they swoop through the trees, feeling the wind through their wings, giving them freedom.  

It is the moment you see a child laugh, with abandon.

The feeling a woman gets when she reflects at herself after years.  Seeing scars & marks, knowing they were from the love of childbirth and the years of laughter given that followed.  

It is the man who has sacrificed hours to help provide a safe home and given unconditionally through sleepless nights and lost moments.  

It is patient and kind, it does not envy, boast or is proud.  It will not dishonour another nor will it self seek.  It does not have anger or keeps record of any wrong doings.  

It will always protect, always trust, always hope and preserve.  

It .. will never fail.

What is it? 

Love

When you see moments of hatred, anger and disrespect help stop it by creating moments of kindness, respect and patience.  Lead by example, so that change happens.  

Be the change you wish to see.