One up

You are caught up in a situation where you know, damn it.. you are right and you want it to be known, no matter what.  Telling whomever will listen, speaking your truth over and over again, wanting to be validated.

Over time though, you'll discover that the energy you expelled to prove you were right was not worth it.  Let me clarify this..

It is not worth it.

Vindication is not always healthy, helpful or otherwise kind.

I look back at my first relationship with my oldest son's father and his family.  I thought that if I fought back enough, I would "win" and they would see my worth as a mum.  I felt I had to prove to them and others my value.  

I look back now and see the wasted energy, time and the lost relationships.  Shaking my head as I type, I know I cannot get those back.

However, I still have the time to forgive, let go and ask for their forgiveness.  The regret is that I wasn't able to look past my immediate feelings at the time for the greater good, my son.  I'll own this.  

So that "one up" you feel you have in your back pocket will always weigh you down.  It will burn a hole through whatever you use to carry it and will not give you the satisfaction you think you'll get from it.

Perhaps, take a moment before you respond, reply or react.  Think about how it will affect things 5 minutes from now, 5 days, 5 weeks, 5 months or 5 years.  Perhaps the best response is nothing at all.  That "one up" you think you have for whatever reason is for you to consider and no one else.