Funny how life's experiences can shape how we act to others, at times open like a floating butterfly, and at other times, closed off with walls that are are unbreakable. Most times, we do the latter as a protection mode, not only for ourselves but truthfully, we believe for others.
What causes you to close off? What, helps others peel the layers away?
Look at the list of items and then, ask "why".
What exactly do you have to lose? If the reaction of another isn't what you want, perhaps it's what you need to hear or see. Perhaps, when you open up, you find something more than you anticipate?
Someone told me a few years back, that it truly is okay to let people know you love them. Even if it's for a moment. Love their actions, love their smiles, love their joy. Loving someone is accepting them for who they are, flaws and all. It is okay to admit it and it's even better to give it. The most wonderful feeling is receiving it.
Be the one loving. Be the one accepting. Be the one admitting it.
Over the past 9 months, my life has changed tremendously. A choice made to better our lives, now having more than I've had in 20 years and it has nothing to do with things or where we live.
I did live in a beautiful home, located on a street that many believe would be priceless. The view, our neighbours. We seemed to have an abundance of things that suited us when and where we wanted it, waste what we didn't and take for granted what we truly needed. I can say I became guilty of this.
Then I woke up.
I started to change a few years back. I looked at myself, my boys and wondered; what was true happiness? Giving up what I wanted, I took the step to live in the present, the now.
Writing here, getting back into volunteering, just simply "being". My eyes opened. Looking back at who I was leaving behind (my old self) I was stunned. I was tired of trying to be who I wasn't.
I walked away in November of 2015, terrified and without self faith.
Now?
I have a single income that is just paying the bills. I am doing the best possible job while being creative with what I have to provide. Trust me, at times I can feel my heart throb through my chest, my breaths get shallow and emotions rise from the base of my gut, traveling through my throat. (this is a tough one to admit)
After that though? I am living. Mum taught me the most important things in life are a roof, food and clothing. We have those, along with many other things that, now in my life I can't be more grateful for. I am living life with my eyes wide open and couldn't be happier.
Do yourself a favour. Take a peek back at what is going on in your life. I'm not suggesting walking away from everything, simply open up your eyes. What single thing, at this present moment do you take for granted?
If you are misguided by all the labels and media telling you what to do, watch, see and be then open your eyes and give your head a clean shake. Take a walk, look at the clouds and be present. Stop letting that feeling from the bottom of your gut control your actions (by the way, it's called fear) and start living.
You aren't going to miss out on something if you are living life, you are creating something by living life. Personally, I'd rather live a life with eyes wide open, creating something that makes happiness rather than living a life being controlled by another.
I want you to get up after a fall and know how to dust yourself off. To smile after a heart break and then dance in the rain. To know defeat and then the taste of success.
Why am I saying the things that are hardest first? So that you know how good it feels to have more than you expected.
These words started out for my kids, and is now evolving to everyone who has touched my life, perhaps ones that don't even know it. People, who I've glanced over while walking and received a smile. It's those moments I embrace, knowing we are coming out.
I want you to live life, to experience everything in it's fullest. I want you to be happy, to learn how to create your happiness and to not live in the past with anger or fear.
Look in the mirror the moment you wake, love yourself completely. Accept who you are in that moment and make the changes by doing baby steps, not expecting anything other than joy in your life at the moment you are in. You will NOT get this moment back so own it. Own all of it and don't let ANYONE take it from you. Not your joy, your happiness, your eagerness, your earnest. Not your desire to learn, to grow or to just be. Make the moments happen.
