Right of passage, is it right?

You know what I truly love?  Opportunities.  I'm sure my boys get sick of me when something comes up but I usually jump on board and have a conversation about what we were part of for the day or even the moment.  I can picture what they are thinking, eyes rolling back, and inside "oh, here we go again."  It doesn't matter, they are going to hear what I'm going to say.  

Today's discussion was summed up to "Right of passage".

I had the most amazing day with my youngest.  Internally, it started out on shaky grounds.  He went to his first "party".  He was honest enough to tell me what happened, his choices and I sat there just listening.  (By the way, he didn't do anything)

Someone might tell my son "it's a right of passage to do those things, don't worry!"  Then my mind started to slip to other times he's been told the same thing about other situations.  

• Skip a class, don't worry about that mark - everyone does it one time or another.

You don't matter?!  Hold on kiddo, you are THE most important person in your life!  Don't sell yourself short.  Skipping a class or not handing in an assignment is exactly that.  

(the sound of a door slam in my head)

• Girls - He's been told they are a right of passage.  This will happened, have fun and the more the merrier.  

HOLD ON!  

(I've got the sound of car breaks squealing in my head)  

Girls?  What do you mean, you are entitled?  Where's the respect towards women?

• Booze, drugs & other stuff - It's okay, everyone does it.  

(the sound of breaks from a car now cease and it's crashing into a wall)  

Why would you think it's okay to put something into your body like this? 

• Demeaning and degrading someone else due to a difference - (They live in "xyz" and are rich kids) - I am told it's normal behaviour in the "locker room" and to relax.  

(My head is going to explode.)  

How is all of this both acceptable or in the slightest way OKAY? 

Shake your head if you think low self esteem, rape, abuse or bullying are OKAY?

For a moment, I implore you to put yourself in the other persons shoes, no matter their gender, their orientation, their skin colour.  Take a moment, remove yourself from where you stand and try to consider where they come from!  Does it make  a person bad for the choices they make in their lives?  Will it effect you?  

My idea of "right of passage" are these:

Learning:
The meaning of kindness
Compassion
Faith
Patience 
Love
Losing & winning
Facing fear

I could go on for a long time but you get the idea.  It's mostly about respect.  Respecting yourself and others.  If someone you know is pushing you into a corner where you feel you have no choice, stand up and tell them it is NOT okay, it is NOT normal and walk.  Their choice isn't worth your time.  

Rant over.
Nicky