Before you take the road you plan on with your children, reflect on what your life was like. What made your heart happy, what drove you to become better? Now look at what your parent(s) did for you. How did that turn out?
I'll pose an example. My parents believed that respect was related to fear. If you feared your parents, you respected them. I don't carry that forward with my children, at least not any more. I've learnt that when I yelled, the results were not what I wanted to see. I changed. I stopped saying "No" when they asked for something and started asking "why".
"Why do you want that chocolate bar?"
"Why do you want that game?"
Parenting changed quickly for myself as the results were completely different. No longer did I have an upset child but an inquisitive one. The ball started to roll and quickly. I changed completely as a parent, noticing how different both my boys were. Now, my goal was to learn to work with who they were. Each has amazing talents, spirits match each of them to who they are and that was my lesson learnt.
I guess, what I'm saying is, open your eyes as a child. They aren't you, they are who they are. You can influence who they may become by your choices but they will still go on their journey. This will be the biggest investment you will make in life. The one commodity that no one can put a price on is time. Invest it well with those wee ones around you.
Love always,
Nicky
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