The hockey mum life

July 16, 2015 was a big day for my 14 year old son.  He told me he needs a break from hockey.  

10 years ago it all started.  We moved into our home and his father was determined to put our younger son in hockey.  He regretted not giving our older one the opportunity and there was no missing the chance this time.  Before he entered the world, I took an opportunity to get him on the ice, I had to make sure he would enjoy it.  

Jr. & I trying out the ice for the first time.

The discussion we had about it, was I am sure like any mum and dad about to enter the hockey world.  I refused to become a hockey mum that hung at the arenas at 6 am, coffee in hand, waiting for the exit from a change room after a practice or game.

A tad bit excited about his hockey gear?

He joined Knights of Columbus on the north side of our city.  My son was a year past their first year of "pre-novice" so he popped in with the other kids on the ice, myself with the camera in hand.  Parents on the sideline and some on the ice along with them.  Chairs & gliders to help the wee ones, some falling on their back ends, some on their knees.  Most getting back up and a few occasionally letting the tears flow.  

Second hockey practice, Jr. on the far left.  They were learning how to get up on skates

We quickly learned that the younger kids get the early practices.  Early as in 6 am.  I'd go give him a gentle nudge to get up so he could have at least 1 boiled egg in his belly before he skated for an hour.  Then came the fundraising, team managing & team coaching.  I discovered the vast amount of pre-packed, pre-sorted plethora of items to sell as a fundraising effort for the players.   I even developed an addiction to Tim Hortons coffee and Tim Bits (for those of you who don't know, they are tiny doughnut bites).

The games started fast and furious, I learning how to cheer without coming across as that "crazy hockey mum"  How could I do anything but cheer this kid on?  He ALWAYS had a smile on his face and I will tell you without a doubt that every family and player that came across him would agree.  

As the first few years flew by, I discovered that my first comments about being a hockey mum were completely wrong.  Hanging in the arena?  ha.. I was starting to look forward to the beginning of each season, catching up with families, seeing other kids grow & succeed, watching the changes happen.  Nothing in your life will mark time more than the kids around you.  You meet the most amazing parents who volunteer and if you are as lucky as my son has been, have guidance from them that no amount of money can match.  Those coaches (one in this photo - Lenhard, was one of my son's and my favourites) dedicate not only that 1 hour for practice, it equals to at least 2.5 to 3 hours a practice, time at home building play books, teams and dedication.  They teach respect, empathy and hard work. 

Team outing

Jr. played in what they call "house league" for most of his hockey life.  This is where the average player is ranked and placed.  It sure didn't make a difference to my son.  He still had a smile on his face, regardless of what level he played on.  He was still happy.  Happy child = happy mum.  

How to define a team?

Not only did he start to learn how to play with a team, he started to figure out how to play with a large assortment of kids, their personalities and their differences in talent.  He didn't see the "slower" boy as slow, he saw that player with an ability to watch for the pass and work together.  Jr. would always chat on the drive home about what he could do to make things smoother

The team winning Minor Hockey week

As each year passed, his ability became stronger, his passion more.  Smiling after each game, win or lose.  He quickly physically developed into one of the taller boys with the girth to match.  Not many could knock him off his skates.  In fact, one year (I recall this as if it was yesterday) he was in the corner, attempting to get the puck out of his teams zone.  Two boys, clearly skating towards him & the puck with the intent to .. well, they hit him and both bounced off backwards landing 2 feet flat on their back ends.  I laughed so hard.

Smiling in the box, my penalty boy

As time went on, practices became more frequent, hockey camps, changing hockey equipment, meeting new families, experiencing tournaments, travel and at times a wee bit of heart break from losses, I can't say I'd trade this journey for anything.  They say, kids that play team sports learn how team work is done.  I can attest, this is the truth.  My son, in his journey to every arena, every pass, every check, every goal, every win and every loss taught him more than I could have imagined.  Each other player he crossed paths with, on his team or another taught him more about life than I could have anticipated.  Sharing some fantastic experiences with family.

Then it happened.  Somewhere along the line, my son became his own person.  About 2 hockey seasons ago, (2012-2013) he started to become a leader.  

 With the smiles that lit up any change room, he wanted to figure out how to pump up the team when they needed it.  He started to give inspirational talks, cheering on the good plays and defending the bad ones.  He was given the title of Captan a few times and wearing it proudly.  He knew, the position came with a bit more work and he was willing to put it in.  Before I knew it, Jr. made the Bantam A team, then last year, the Bantam AA team.  

In late October, things took a turn.  While in a warm up, his skate caught an edge and he fell on his side.  Put his left leg out to brace the impact and it happened.  An inaudible sound came from him, he tossed his stick aside, grabbing his ankle area.  I jumped up, ran towards the glass and watched helplessly as the coaches came over, assisted him up and took him to the bench.  Within minutes, we had him loaded in the car and driving madly to the children's hospital.  All the while, he kept saying "There's gotta be worse pain than this" over and over.  He started to shake as we arrived.  Shortly after they got him in, they confirmed a broken ankle, surgery to be done the following day.  All the while, he was making plans to get to the next game to watch the boys win.  Of course, he never did.  Some of them though, came to the hospital to cheer him up, including his head coach Garret.  (last name with held out of respect).  Jr. kept telling them all, he would be back.  

 

Within a few days, he held true to his word.  Attending almost every practice and yes, every game.  He started to find his purpose.  He started to give them inspiration.  Regardless of what he was unable to do, he explained to the other players how they need to fight for a win as much as they need to breathe.  

 

Jr. dressing up for every game.

His first practice after the break

He stood his ground when things were tough and wanted them to believe in themselves as much as he believed in them.  Everyone, including the coach didn't think he'd make it back this past season.  He was willing to prove them wrong.  Back on the ice by the end of December, he was ready to get into the game.  

His first game

Now, as some of you know, a parents nightmare is seeing their child fall, seeing them hurt and fearing failure.  Perhaps, his leaving hockey can be viewed as this but I don't.  What did he gain?  He gained more than any educational institution can teach in a life time.  Confidence.  He received an award this year, as far as I'm concerned the best one out there.  

Most Sportsman Like.  

Why do I think he received this?  I think you know, if you read all of this, you know why.  

So, as I never had a chance to be in the arena, knowing full well it would be his last game, I regret nothing.  Nodda.  For those he played with, against and for, I owe you a life time of gratitude.  

For helping me raise one incredible kid, who with your help I know deep down will succeed in life no matter what he does, where he goes.  Thank you for the countless hours, trying times and compassion you showed.  Thank you for the years of coffee, chats, understanding and love.  I hope to join you at an arena near by this upcoming season.  I will yell chicken wing for your kid and yes, they will know what that mean.

All my love,

Nicky