I was 18 when I found out I was pregnant and it never even crossed my mind to do anything other than give birth and raise this child. Not because I am pro life, not because I had to prove to my parents I could, because I wanted to.
It felt ... right. It was actually the biggest thing in my life that did.
I want for my boys the same thing my mum & dad wanted for me. I want them to become strong individuals who are kind, compassionate and hard working.
It became a drive for me, and I soon discovered it wouldn't be easy. I don't know if I'll ever see an end result but I know I'll see rewards of hard work, dedication and a lot of love. All followed up with acceptance, tolerance and seeing myself evolve.
I wasn't the same girl then as I am today. I sure had some selfish moments, pride driven decisions and perhaps let my emotions get the best of me. The moment I changed? I reflected after each reaction. I read. LOTS. Some books gave me a new aspect that helped, some I just shook my head. All in all, here are some of the things I've learnt.
1.) Those babies you raise to be adults WILL be a reflection of you.
2.) You do NOT own them. You are here to raise them, it was YOUR choice, not theirs.
3.) Providing a roof, clothing and food are essential but your ears, arms and heart are necessary.
4.) Learn with them. It's the best education system out there and it won't cost you more than your time. Some of the most profound moments in my life were with one or both of my boys.
5.) You will make mistakes. Show your children it is okay and be the example of one who can get back up after a fall. They watch every thing you do.
6.) Do not expect them to be you. They aren't. What you had growing up with they won't. They may not play with cars, barbies or color in a book. Let them express who they are, that's their job!
I have many other thoughts in my head. I may not be 100% right but so far, the rewards far exceed the effort it took.
Lots of love,
Nicky
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