How to raise my children - Part 1

I suppose that when I was given the choice to have my first child I didn't think about what I did and how it would affect them.  I was just going to give it my best shot.  After the first couple of months with Michael I started seeing this life as it's own and not mine to live through but one to help mold and shape with my hands.  Birth is one thing, child raising is something completely different.  More importantly, it can shape us as people as well.  

I figured, why not try at this?  What not give it my best?  After all, I had no idea if I was going to be given a second chance.  Don't get me wrong, being a parent is one of the hardest things if not the hardest things you'll do as a human.  

Like any parent, I didn't want to make the same mistakes mine did.  I wanted to improve, I wanted to treat this like a mini classroom.  Day by day, I would take advantage of situations and use them.  I remember wanting to dislike his father for not giving him the love and attention he so deserved.  I took that and taught him never to keep your anger towards someone and keep in deep within your heart.  I let him know that when you do, that other person controls you.  When he was given an apology, I taught him to truly accept it.  It couldn't be "oh, that's okay" or "don't worry about it".  He had to learn to say "thank you".  Something I needed to learn.

When he was faced with adversity in school amongst his peers, I taught him to know that it's okay to be who you are, not everyone will accept you.  You have to be okay with yourself and that's all that matters.  There is no other "you".

When it came to treating others, that came naturally.  Michael is kind, thoughtful and when he finds his desire a very hard working person.  He has learned to laugh with people who care enough for him.  He's developed into his own person with some guidance from myself and luckily a few other good people around.  

When he was given the opportunity to grow in a job as a young man, we pushed him.  He started in one which wasn't suited then another which we saw him change.  I suppose I taught him, any job no matter what is a job of importance.  It gives us more worth that we know but it teaches us all what we are made of.  

Not knowing when or why

It gives me great pleasure knowing I was given a choice.  When you look back in a time of your life, you will see those window's of opportunity where you've been given a choice.  At the time, we may not have been aware of the option but simply made the choice.

We need to offer that option to our children.  We can show them but let them choose.  One thing we all have in common is we strive to be better than our parents.  What place are you in now and what choices will you give your children?  

The choice to choose religion?  The choice to their future life job?  Their spouse or quality of life?  I am for all of those.  It's time we stop expecting our children to live our lives, to let them take the keys to their car and drive the path they want.  Trusting them but guiding them along the way.  

Keep in mind, guiding them isn't the same as steering them.  Guiding them in the healthy and safest direction there is.  Nurturing their strengths and helping them find a balance in their weakest places.  Knowing that it's okay to be who they are, feel what they feel and love them regardless.  

That's what I know about being the best parent for my 2 boys.  

Teaching the future

The rate of survival today for children, teens and young adults isn't posted.  We hear about what makes the news big.  How one makes it past the age of 20 is beyond me some days.  I watch the news and it hardens my heart.  Greed, anger, gluttony & so many other issues make it beyond personal struggles on a daily basis.  I have friends with struggling family members from all ranges of issues from emotional, financial or physical.  All which effects each of us on a personal level one time or another.  Government invests in what helps them get ahead, what is best for their ego or what makes the headlines.  I have yet to see the government invest in the future, our children.

I've said a few times how many siblings I have, what issues we dealt with and how we did.  Events each of our pasts have shaped us as people but to look back and reflect on how they did is another side.  Each day events change us, shape us and determine the course of direction our lives go.

I listened to 630 Ched the other day with Primo and Gross commenting about "legacy" and how many generations will remember who you were.  I believe it's our choice to determine how long we are remembered by.  Perhaps not as a person but perhaps by actions.

For example, do you know anything about Hitler other than he appeared to be rather insane?  About what he chose to do?  I don't.  Perhaps it's due to the fact that my education only went into the hard facts that effected others in such a large scale.

I believe we need to invest more than money into our future.  I've read somewhere that we get what we put in.  If I were to take more time to explain political science to my children would they have the drive to go in that direction?  What about finance?  Would that teach them more on how to be financial savy?  Of course it would!  Our children feed on attention.  I enjoy the moments alone where I discuss both issues.  I want my son's to be aware and know what they need to know.  I want them to develop back bones and to know how to say "NO" and how to accept an apology.

I try my best to feed my son's the hunger they have to learn.  Regardless if it's from planting a vegetable garden to minding their finances.  I am helping them build their future and their successes, I am investing in their future.  My question to you, are you investing in someone else's future without spending a dime?  It actually might save their lives and the lives of others.  You never know where one starts but you may always know where one ends.

2013 already.  Where has time taken us?  As far as I'm concerned, too far into the future.  My grandmum has passed.  Arthur jr. has become taller than me.  Michael is in a wonderful relationship.  Some days are harder than others.    

Life does not stop for anyone and time takes us into the future without choice.  I suppose we have to embrace change regardless of the outcome.  

The snow is still here however spring is around the corner and everything is itching to bloom.  I am grateful for the return of warmth and lazy days.  

Being around friends with different outlooks supports my own.  I've learned that it's OKAY to think differently than me.  Yes, that's an admission, I'm not always right.  I love life, learning and trying to accept.  I've found out that judging others is the same as throwing a rock from a glass house.  Shame on my younger self.  *as I laugh at myself daily now*

Life is simply a journey in which we are given the gift to live, learn and grow.  We cannot choose when it's over but we can choose how we live it.