That being said, how can one "lose their jam"?
It's when you become disconnected and let go.
Perhaps it's a good thing to "disconnect" from time to time. I guess I have needed to have some alone time, to breathe and reasssure myself that it's going to be okay.
I don't honestly care about how my past has effected me but how it has changed me to be a better person. Let's be honest, our past can mess with the operating system inside our shells. How does one process the actions of another to move forward to become a better person?
I've actually written 5 times this week, struggling with the words.
Frankly, it's okay. I love how things are unfolding. I've learnt to let go. No expectations, no needs and no desires. I saw some women shopping and buying things "just because they were on sale". One woman said.. "good lord, buy it as it's only a buck!" Really? I thought, "You needed that thing?" Even if it was .50 cents, does it make a difference in your life? I suppose I've learnt to let things go and appreciate the smallest of gestures.
I had a text from a friend I volunteer with today. She shared her joy and love with me. I received a call from one of my oldest friends. I've been told that someone loves me, given the time from another and had the freedom to be alone while feeling this. I can't be grateful enough for this life, even if I start to feel worry.
So, I breathe.
Did I lose my jam? Nah, I've just taken a break from thinking. I've stopped to smell the flowers and love life. Thank you to everyone who has loved me and guided me. Thank you to the woman at Walmart who bought my groceries over a year ago when I had nothing. Thank you to my friends who provided my son and I with a roof, thank you to my family who provided me with unconditional love when I doubted myself. Without the hard times, I wouldn't have known what I was made of.
Love
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