Redeveloping your core

It's been an interesting past few months to say the least.  A lot has transpired and although I have the need to write in reflection, I've found myself at a loss on how to articulate so many emotions. 

I suppose starting with one, as I always encourage baby steps.  Figuring out which emotion is hardest.  

I admit, mostly they can dictate direction, I do my best to discuss with some of those closest to me.  I speak, then listen without a predetermined outcome in mind.  

Let's sum today's blog up to external circumstances.  How does one react and how will it change the desired results?

Wait

Listen

Watch

I can honestly say that I use to jump to reaction, wanting to make things better or right.  Like many, I am a pleaser.  One friend once directed me to read the book, "The Five Love Languages". This helped me to discover that my "love language" is "Acts of service"  which came as no surprise.  My former life, I would do my best to conform to the needs of others while putting myself last.  In that process, I forgot who I was, how to become more and like a frog in water, didn't see the water boiling.  The results don't have to be illustrated for you.  I choose to make a change.  

While redeveloping my empathy thought process, personal standards and some core strength, I discovered a different me.  Albeit, my legs shook a wee bit while making the stands I made, I still did.  Even if, to this day it hurts to look back at the losses incurred I reassure myself they were the best ones irrespective.  

While I drone on with babble here, I suppose you are asking, what is the point?

I've slowed down.  Not because of someone pulling on my proverbial reins but I taught myself the value of my own beliefs.  This gave me the ability to wait out the process and let things happen naturally.  It appears they usually do.  

How to listen is key.  I use to listen with the intent to respond.  I am not yet the best at this but I challenge myself daily.  I am working hard to be present when someone is speaking.  If they are giving me the opportunity to be part of their lives then I want to show them their value.  

Watching is one of the best parts of life.  We all people watch from time to time.  I've learnt to put the devices down and absorb what is going on.  However, it's not just physically watching but tying into the three mentioned, it holds a key to discovering more about another, while developing a stronger awareness and better values of ourselves.  It's not about being judgmental but learning to hold myself accountable.  When I watch myself, I become more of who I want to be.  

Going back to the beginning, it's been a tough few months.  I won't be remiss in saying that life is perfect and the relationships I currently have are easy.  It's quite opposite.  However, I am learning and I hope those around me develop a strong feeling of trust and love when we are together.  I hope that the choices I have made over the last few months and year will come full circle and those who were part of them, understand where I came from and where I choose to be.