what lifts you up will return to be brighter

Sometimes, we let the wrong experiences define us.  The tough ones that we never thought the light would come back before it was over.  Moments where we have felt defeted, abandoned and jaded. 

The hardest parts of my life, were the ones that have almost pushed me over the edge, where I thought the light was gone.  I did, however clear the dust, after each stumble.  I'd recreate another path, with help from some extremely kind and loving people, at times, felt that without them, I wouldn't have survived.  

To this day, I still have some moments where I live in doubt and fear.  To this day, I look over my shoulder.  I even had been to the point that it almost effected my daily living.  I had a dog that I wouldn't leave a home without.  I wouldn't trust people and I lost some amazing opportunities due to this fear that developed from that life experience.  Where did it get me while I was trying to recover?  Not far.  Other than the gym or the furthest grocery store.  I learnt ways to protect, ways to develop a stronger second sense.  

After some time, I noticed how this experience was shaping me.  How I reverted to the "fight or flight" mode instead of "communicating and resolving."  I looked at myself both physically and internally reflecting on my direction.  Where I am going and where I could be?  

I forgot to stop looking at where I was in a positive light.  I know it's important to not forget the past so we don't make the same mistakes, it is also important to validate where we've come from and to celebrate the milestones.  To know that you've done your best and it's time to move on.  Your light will return and It will be okay.

Perhaps the thought that kept me going wasn't about what happened that tore me down but what happened that lifted me up.