My mothers day homage

With mothers day fast approaching, I thought I would do a wee write up on my mum.  You'll wonder where I'm going when I start, but understand when it's done.

When I was a young lady, I was angry with her.  She abandoned me when I thought I needed her most.  She was selfish.  She was weird and embarrassed me.  

Although I craved the relationship I saw other friends had with their mothers, I felt I had to prove a point.  To myself, to her, to others.  I just didn't talk to her anymore.  

Years passed and my selfishness started to fall to the wayside.

Now, in my mid 40's and starting a new chapter in my life, my eyes are more open that ever.  This is what life experiences give you.

Mum, 

Thank you.  Thank you for pushing me to be on my own.  To learn to raise my first child and discover what unconditional love is.  Thank you for NOT helping me raise my kids.  I learnt that I can and I did!  Thank you for showing me to do what I have to, when I need to.  

Thank you for being selfish.  You showed me it's okay!  I can go to the gym without feeling guilty.  I can think of myself first sometimes, no matter what.  

Thank you for being weird, to show me embracing my inner weirdness is okay and my friends will love me regardless.  More importantly, to love myself.

Mum, thank you for letting me cry, so hard I sobbed uncontrollably safely in your arms.   Be angry, so much that you sat back and just listened, told me it was okay to feel anger but to let it go.  Laugh at the silliest things.  I mean, laugh so hard I lost my breath, snorted and peed a little.  

Mum, thank you for letting me be selfish and loving me so much that it was okay to come back to you.  

That you understood,

every.

single.

moment.

YOU making sure I knew it was okay to come home.  

Mum, thank you for teaching me to be the most amazing mum to my kids.