Our parents, growing up had many belief’s, sayings and nothing was different, nor would it ever be. Not in their eyes.
We will ALL see things change. That is the one most constant thing in life.
When I was a child, adults use to tell me “You are to be seen, not heard” or “Do as I say, NOT as I do”.
Those did’t work so well. We were always loud. 5 boys, 2 girls? Let’s get real, for both of those sayings, that is 100% the truth.
This weekend has been a prime example of how things have changed.
I do not want my children to do the same as me, in fact, I want them to do everything better.
This weekend is a prime example.
My younger son, while playing hockey fell. Into the boards and the boards won. His yelling from the ice was indescribable. Loud, painful and it took everything in me to stop from running to the ice and try to help. We drove to the hospital, the entire time he was saying, “there has to be worse pain than this” over and over. Arriving, I ran in to get a wheelchair trying to keep my cool.
X-rays, resetting of the bone and lots of medication they confirmed it. He broke his ankle. Not just an easy break, what they called a “spiral fracture” Not in one place but two. They would have to do surgery, they would have to put him under. NOT what I wanted to hear nor what I anticipated.
All the while, he’s telling me it’s going to be okay. Surgery happens and he’s settled in a room he is sharing with another child. She’s 6 years old and we find out, she’s being treated for seizures. She had surgery on her brain but she’s as chatty as the next child without any struggles. She keeps asking her momma about school. When can she return? Asking about the days of the week, months, about everything that is going through her mind. These thoughts go through my mind. I miss my children being so inquisitive the other hoping she will recover.
Arthur though, after he started to come around noticed the little voice on the other side of the curtain. This put a smile on his face. He kept saying “mum, are you listening to this”? We would giggle quietly at her enthusiasm.
At one point, I went to get my son a glass of water and this little girls mum was in the kitchen with me. Of course, I asked about what brought her here and her prognosis. Her mum, telling me in detail the “W’s”. As we casually walked back, she asked me about my son. I returned to Arthur with his glass of water and we chatted a bit more until visitors started to arrive.
Arthur didn’t complain of pain after the surgery, he didn’t complain about anything actually. He had more gratitude than I anticipated.
What I want to say after that long winded exposure of our personal lives is this.
I’ve changed as a mum. Perhaps to the misfortune of my first son and fortune of my second? I’ve learnt to give more than receive. I’ve learnt to stop assuming others choices, actions or behaviour. I’ve discovered the “other side to the story” and that endurance is a form of compassion.
Now though? My son is taking it to another level, at the age of 14 not 42.
He has stronger values & convictions.
He wasn’t afraid of the break but of the pain & he faced it. He then saw the beauty in what was around him. He was grateful for the help he received. When he was told about the little girl, he felt sympathy for her and put himself aside. Learning to walk with crutches, he is willing to do it on his own even though fear creeps into his head, he still tries.
I am proud of how he’s changing & becoming better than me at such an early age. I see the evolution happening.
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