You bring this little person into the world. All of a sudden it’s not about you, it’s about them. Everything. Your breath, your heartbeat, your mind. All of you.
I remember leaving my oldest at the daycare for his first time. It ate at me for weeks before. Walking away and leaving him in the arms of another. His face planted squarely against the screen door, screaming for me to come back. "I will, don’t you worry little one”. was the only thing running through my head. For the next 9 hours while I worked, all I could think of was his safety. Of course I checked their backgrounds, references and spent time with them, prepared myself as much as I could to give complete trust to someone that wasn’t me.
Sports followed with coaches guiding my child, then teachers, other family members, then peers and finally employers. At one point, I had to trust and let go of my fear.
My second child came and it was the same all over, trusting others that had influence over both of my children’s lives.
Statics say that one out of three children are abused in one form or another.
Right then.
The odds are not good so let’s do the math.
Childcare givers, teachers, coaches, other parents, other family members and employers. How many of those in each? Childcare givers? If I were lucky, there would only be 1, perhaps 2 tops. That wasn't the story. I went through 5 out of school care givers, 2-3 different babysitters, at least 7 teachers (kinder through 6) then the coaches. On any given team, you’ll have at least 2 coaches per sport and let’s base that on 2 sports a year. A total to date of at least 16 (guessing on my children’s activities). Then family members. I hate to put that stat in but let’s face it. Most sexual abusers are someone that is close to the child. So, on average, let’s say 3-4 family adults exposed to our children. Then peers. That can be countless. If one child can become a bully to your child, can do unwanted acts towards your child. So let’s throw in 3 for a number. (let’s face it, children learn what they live). Then finally employers. How many of you as a young adult have had an employer that said or did something that you didn’t feel right with. Okay, let’s toss 1 into the factor.
That possible total number of outside influences on your child’s life is 41.
41 people who have influence on your child’s life good or bad.
Now let’s flip that around for a second.
41 possible wonderful, fantastic, loving people who have had a positive influence in my children’s lives. 41 people who have guided, set the best examples and loved them unconditionally.
I want to thank the child care workers. The daycare across from my grandparents home for faith, my grandparents, Runu in the day home for the love, the YMCA ladies who taught my youngest a song that I use to sing to him when he was a baby, to laugh. The countless teachers that gave them self and self worth, the Soccer, lacrosse and hockey coaches for structure and to preserve, all of my family members for unconditional love, the employers who now have taken both of my boys under their wings to show them respect and hard work.
I had read somewhere that it takes a village to raise a child. They are 100% correct.
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