The best ways to be a parent

I am no expert at raising children.  I was raised and survived just like you.  

I did take what I learnt from being a daughter, the insight I gained from being a sister and the love I experienced being a granddaughter.  

At a young age, I discovered that my first son was on his way into my life.  I made a decision to not only do this but do the best job I could.  

I worked to provide, I took him to places and got him involved in sports such as soccer, baseball, golf and even chess.  

I showed him compassion, patience, love & tolerance.  You are asking me right now... how does one teach those four things to a child or even yourself at least.  

I thought I was teaching him these, in the process I saw the value more than before.  

Compassion - I learnt who he was, one day at a time doing my best to show him that I understood he wasn’t the same boy and our neighbour’s boy.  I grew as a parent, learning to accept who he was unconditionally and loving him.  

Patience - I read to him, I listened to his words, I asked him how he felt.  I started to understand his world.

Love - This has no words.  My heart became his when he entered my world. I would still stop the sun from turning if possible to protect him. 

Tolerance -  To forgive.  Myself for mistakes and do better, forgive others, I learnt we cannot change the past.  He watched me grow as a mum and he learnt how to be a better person, for today and for his future family.  

When I reached my late 20’s, I was given an opportunity to be a mum to another child.

I learnt to change and adapt.  I never understood when I heard my grandparents tell my mum that kids are always different.  

Until now.  

My second son came when I gave up.  He taught me this.  He also taught me how to be a better mum.  What is it we learnt together?

Take time to relax - I was serious about trying to do the right thing with my first child that I forgot to take time to laugh and just let things be.  

Just do it - We discovered that fear shouldn’t determine an outcome.  He knows to try something that he’s not comfortable with every day.  It’s his challenge with his words.  I’ll do the same.  

Forgiveness - This too shall pass.  Stop feeling hurt and angry.  Life is too short.  Laugh.  At yourself, at others and accept it.  

I’m still a work in progress, I hope I never stop learning.  I am a completely different person today than I was 23 years ago when it all started.  I wouldn’t trade a thing for the giggles, late nights regardless of reading, sports or studies.  I am no longer upset about messy bedrooms, lost toys or late homework.  Words of encouragement to them for them and some days, from them.  

So when you reflect on who you are as a parent or someone in another’s life who they look up to, do you gain as much as they did or as much as they can?  I think if we keep on learning, we become better.