The KISS principle

KISS - Keep it simple silly

After 46 years of life, I've found the KISS principle something that life should be centered around.  It's most recently been referred to as minimalism however, this reference is more towards items in our lives than just relationships.  What I want to talk about today is just that.  

Relationships. 

Take a moment to step back and start fresh, like a blank sheet you are given a fresh set of markers to remap what is good for you.  When you do this, I want you to apply the KISS principle.  

Draw yourself.  Describe what you hold important, NOT what you think others should see you as but what is important to you and relationships.  Here is an example;

Honestly, Integrity, Courage

Positive reinforcement, Healthy choices

Now take a look at what's going on in your life.  What causes you stress?  Is it financial, is it relationships, is it work?  Then ask, is it worth it?  Do you feel valued, were the decisions you made the thoughts that keep you up at night?  

Cut out all of what gives your heart ache.  Make a choice to KISS it away.  Don't put the pressure on something, someone or even yourself right now to have more, do more, make more.  Life is so extremely short and we are NOT given the chance to choose when it is done for us.  Do NOT give into the feelings that aren't about you, the feelings that do not make you happy and that rob you of the most valuable commodity, time.   

I sit here, lucky to have been surrounded by some amazing people, breathtaking opportunities and second chances.  I refuse to allow negative energy in our lives.  I will do my best not to give that most valued commodity away when I'd rather be living a happy life.  

Stop giving what you have to everyone else and start loving yourself first.  Trust me when I tell you that everything will fall into place when it's time.  Just keep it simple silly.

All my love to you..

How to apologize

I've been struggling on how to write this as it's been in my head and heart for a wee bit.

Something that "Canadians" do frequently, tossing the word around without thinking of the meaning, feeling that it makes all our indiscretions acceptable.  

It doesn't.

Hell, let's not make this about a nation and be honest.  

Saying "I'm sorry" doesn't make things alright..no matter where you are from.

It won't absolve you nor will it turn back time to before things happened.

There are two areas I want to cover on this.

Apologizing and accepting an apology.

When you do something that clearly hurts another, apologize.  Make things right by being EXACT.

"I'm sorry I said that." or  "I'm sorry I did this."

BE sincere and exact.  Pin point what you know is true, and be accountable.  Own your error, make good on your apology and change to be a better person.  Not just for the other person, for you. 

When someone chooses to do something that hurts you and they reach out to apologize, accept it.  

HOWEVER,

Learn how to accept it.  You won't move forward without this.  I promise. 

Saying, "It's okay" when responding to an apology doesn't help the other person.  In fact, it makes the behaviour okay and they will be more likely to repeat it.  

Tell them why you are hurt, let them know you've accepted their apology and close the door by simply acknowledging it and saying "thank you"  

If you want to know that I've done this..

Yes I have.

I've apologized to my kids, my friends and family.  

I've said to them directly that I was sorry for an action or reaction.  I've held their hands, looked into their eyes and said those words. (when possible)  I've also asked them for forgiveness and expressed that it wouldn't happen again.  

What I've wanted is that we learn to be stronger, better people.  To learn how to move forward from an error, to learn from them and to accept them.  After all, we are all human..

Aren't we?