Live your most authentic life starting today

2016 came and went like a breath of air.  

A big, deep down, lung filling, and ever so present breath of fresh air.  One that, when you exhale slowly makes you feel fresh and new.  This is what it was for us. 

I made some drastic changes in 2016 without any plans or idea of how it would turn out.  For the first time, I took a step, when I didn't see where I was going.  It was based on faith.  

Once I discovered that I no longer needed a plan and to trust in faith, I started to believe I could do something more than what I thought possible.  

Now a year later, after a deep, lung clearing, life changing breath I am not exactly where I imagined I'd be, but better.  

Perhaps, just perhaps when we learn to let go of the stigma which is built into society that success is defined by what others see, we learn to be happier, live a  more fulfilled life and decide to put value into something that will sustain us much further than we ever imagined.  

I challenge you this year to make some changes that do not involve obtaining a thing.  Perhaps, being in the service of another.  Putting your wants and desires far, far back and making a choice to change.  If possible, you may find that one small act, the happiness you are so desperately searching for, will find you.  

Happy New Year my friends.  May you discover love, happiness and live the most authentic life you have ever lived.

How to remove toxic from your life

Daily, we look around us and try to avoid toxic intakes such as processed foods, air or bodies of water that are uninhabitable.  Why would we allow toxic relationships in our lives?  

I can tell you that, most of us, over a period of time become numb to our surroundings.  We accept what we live with, work with and play with.  We become what we accept in our daily lives, some call it comfortable. 

For many years, we've accepted what is unacceptable.  We've allowed and laughed at jokes which are sexist, racist, hateful and truly not funny, nor should we tolerate them.  Part of the issue is, we do not know how to tell someone that what they've said is truly unacceptable.  How is that possible?  We are living a life now where we are aware of the toxins around us, like I said above.  Smoking or inhaling secondhand smoke.  Foods that have been prepared and can go for days, weeks or months before going bad.  What about water that has been mistreated with trash or chemicals, which we drink?  We all know those are bad and we are, for the most part making conscious choices to not take part of this.  

but.. when we hear another berate someone for being a woman, being of a specific ethnicity, being gay, or even being too thin, why do we laugh at it?  Why is it "OKAY" to say "she deserved it?" Or having a different skin tone makes one lesser of a person, or that it's not normal to want to be with someone of the same sex or even your body size?  

I've developed the best of friends with a man who had discovered "what true love is" after he's told his family who he truly is by "coming out".  I've had friends who have loved deeper and truer that are of different ethnicity and show me what "real" is.  

I have also had men and women also show me what hate is.  
It doesn't matter what they do, who they are or where they plan on going.  I have walked away from a large part of my life due to the opinions of others and where they should be.  

I now stand for who I am and what I believe in.  

For example, you were born into a Catholic family.. my guess is that your chosen life will become one that reflects your family.  Your parents are, your grandparents are.. you will be.  Don't get me wrong, if your choice doesn't hurt anyone then it's in my humble opinion that it can't be bad. 

The tough part is, when do we, as growing people learn to make a change that reflects ourselves without the fear of letting those who we love the most feel let down?  Is this where it starts?  

Having 2 beautiful boys who I love dearly I do my best to direct by example how to be a better human.  Not attending a church in a building but I'll give thanks daily for the gifts that I receive, calling this my daily gratitude.  Then doing my best to give back.  Writing about this from time to time on social media to encourage others to do the same but daily, mentioning to my youngest as a reminder; "do something kind for someone today." And you know what?  Most days, he comes home beaming proud of something he did.  

My next step in life is to teach them that you will get back what you put in.  Not just with general life but in school, with relationships and respect.  Some days it may not seem to be that clear but most days, hearing about how things happened even if they were not a success, how it can be done better next time.  We talk and sometimes, a lot.  Even if we don't agree, encouraging a healthy conversation is key.  My favourite ones are when I see my error and apologize.  I know it sounds odd but I'll take full handle on that opportunity and use it to teach him how to accept an apology instead of saying the typical; "That's okay."  Because, sometimes, it's NOT okay.  

I may not be the perfect parent but I'm trying to teach my boys not to accept the toxic in their lives before they think it's normal.