Reflections of a childhood truth

After a few days here at home, helping my young guy recover I am exhausted.  More so mentally.  

As a parent, your emotions usually get tucked away and your children’s safety comes first.  This past week was no exception.  My son, with a broken ankle had thrown me through a loop.  Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t an emotional wreck.  I jumped up into action but tucked my emotions away until he was sedated for surgery.  I walked out of the OR and had a bit of a cry.  Shook it off and then sat to watch time pass until he safely came out.

Now, a few days later.  He’s starting to get around the house, we’ve been lent a water proof boot to put over his cast and he’s showered.  (thank god, boys smell)!  

What I’ve noticed that’s changed?  He’s full of apprehension.  This break changed my confident, happy-go-lucky young man and it kinda put’s me in a fowl mood!  Now, I won’t admit that to him as it’s not his fault but, damn it this break isn’t going to win.  

He’s afraid of stairs, of falling, of losing balance of simply getting up to try something.  

Then I thought of something.  He’s my younger self but without a broken leg. 

I was afraid to go outside my comfort zone as a child.  I was afraid to trust myself.  

Actually, most times now as an adult, I am afraid to trust myself... but I do.  

Lesson learnt these past few days?

Do NOT let fear control your actions!  

If you are a parent, your child will learn not to trust themselves if they sniff an ounce of doubt coming from you.  

As an individual person?  If you are doubting an action, as yourself the “w’s”.  

Who, what, where, when and why.

Will it hurt anyone, including yourself?  

Mostly, above all?  Trust your gut.  

Good gravy, I LOVE being a parent.  I’ve been learning more than any classroom could teach me.  Tomorrow, I’m going to let my son head back to school on his own.  He is going to be a bit afraid but he will learn that things will get better, easier and he can move on.