It feels as though so much has changed since my last posting. Mostly my grandmother's passing. I'm aware that I'm not the first to lose someone, nor has she been the first i've lost. Her life was the example of what to be as a person. I'm quite certain that she's made mistakes but all in all, I hope to live somewhat like she has. No matter what was going on in her life, she was the first to let you know that someone out there has it tougher.
Through out all of this, my constant has been my mother. Surprising to me, she has been one who I could gain strength from.
Going forward, today was a big lesson for me. Enough to drive me back here to write about it. As a young girl, I was abused. Today, I spoke to one of them.
He's currently mentally challenged and that is due to the drug abuse he chose to use to get away from what happened. Today he asked me to forgive him from the past and that he was sorry I am the way I am, he felt responsibility for my life now.
I told him that my actions I choose now are my own, not based on something that happened when I was a young girl. He smiled and actually looked as though some weight was lifted. It wasn't about forgiveness but about letting him know my actions were not a result of his. They are my own.
Then I realized that I owned my life now and no one else.
